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#1
Mar 01, 2011, 04:58 PM
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I've been self harming for a year now and I have been trying really hard to stop since November. But when people started finding out about it, like my mom, crisis counselor at my school (I'm 9th grade, high school), it just got worse! It seems to stress me out or something to have people know. To have people ask "what's wrong?" all the time. My mom keeps on asking that. She doesn't ask to see, she doesn't check, she doesn't make sure that I don't have anything in my room. She does nothing about it!!!! She's my MOM and I don't want her to help but at the same time I am going insane because there is no one helping me!!!!
I just want to stop. It's getting too insane and I find it revolting. I hate cutting, I hate that I do it, I hate every part of it, yet I do it because I love it...it makes no fricking sense, but I can't stop what I hate! I've tried getting help, I've talked to one of my friends, and she's made me go to the crisis counselor to ask for help. All the way back in...December, my mom and I went to the youth service buera to get a counselor/therapist. They called back in Febraury to tell my mom they couldn't help and to look else where, the beginning of February. I don't know if my mom hasn't tried, or if she just hasn't found someone and didn't tell me. I finally went to the crisis counselor yesterday (because I promised my friend I would, since she begged me to) and told her. And I haven't seen the crisis counselor since end of November, or something like that. But she asked to see my arms and even she noticed the extreme difference. That was Friday!!! It's even worse now BECAUSE I went to the crisis counselor. But I'm getting worse when I don't see someone. I need to talk to someone, but it makes me go insane because all they do is tell my mom EVERYTHING! Yeah, she should know, I know that, but her knowing makes her depressed and makes me depressed even more. It Doesn't Help!!! But I need to stop! Everything I've been doing is not working anymore. The rubber bands thing, writing, music, exercise, it's all not working! I need to find someone to talk to, but I don't know if I should if it's just making me worse. And I don't even know how to explain what is going on because I don't know!!!!! I don't know what is driving my depression, I have a good life!!! Sure sucky school life, and sometimes home is hell, but compared to some people, it's nothing bad! I don't know why it's driving me insane. (sorry it's a long post) (saying trigger just in case) |
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#2
Mar 02, 2011, 01:50 AM
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Are they not legally forced to tell your mum at your age?
You definately should find someone to talk to, but if its an issue talk to someone from here that you dont know, I find that a lot easier at least. Theres something about being able to write down your feelings to a computer that is much easier and less embarrassing than talking to anybody in person |
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#3
Mar 02, 2011, 09:22 AM
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dash, I'm sorry that you are struggling. Do you think that your SI is related to your feelings? Are you in the UK?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Mar 02, 2011, 02:55 PM
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It might be, I can't tell. Sometimes it's not and it's just an urge without any trigger or anything I can find. And I live in the USA. And I did do research on the law that forces them to tell, which they don't have to tell my mom if I am seeing a professional therapist or counselor, which technically seeing the crisis counselor at my school would be seeing someone...i think...
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#5
Mar 03, 2011, 01:46 PM
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Can the crisis counselor help you find a therapist?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#6
Mar 03, 2011, 09:34 PM
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Quote:
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#7
Mar 04, 2011, 09:59 AM
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Quote:
Does the crisis counselor know that where she first sent you didn't work out? She might have plan B.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#8
Mar 04, 2011, 03:16 PM
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That's what I informed her of last friday, and she said she would call the Buera people, and then that she was going to call my mom to work something out or find things out.
I just don't like my mom knowing. Everything I tell them they tell my mom, and I still can't talk to my mom yet. So telling them anything is just like telling my mom. And I've just never came forward and asked for help before. I don't know how to ask for help for a problem I don't understand. I don't know how to talk about my self harming when I don't know whats causing it all the time. I just, feel like there is no serious reason causing it, that I'm just being over dramatic, but I don't at the same time. I just can't explain it, and i don't know how to ask for help with something I can't explain. |
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#9
Mar 04, 2011, 04:19 PM
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It sounds like the counselor is going to work on finding something for you. This is great!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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