 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
May 10, 2011, 02:09 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I have been doing very well with my self-injury issue, I haven’t had an incident sense Oct. But I have had a lot of urges, but in the past couple of days the urges have taken on a new form SPITE. My SI is a huge problem for my wife, and harming myself would be a rather round about way of upsetting her. I feel guilty for having these urges, but I also am SO TEMPTED to give into them.
__________________
“If we could change ourselves, the tendencies in the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world change towards him. ... We need not wait to see what others do.” Gandhi |
|
#2
May 11, 2011, 09:08 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
You are upset with your wife?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
|
#3
May 11, 2011, 10:09 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
That you hurting yourself bothers your wife, it probably bothers anyone around you who knows but, in the end, it is still you hurting YOU. You are the only one who is actually hurt and has a problem.
Ostensibly your wife could leave or gain self-esteem so she understands that she cannot do anything to "make" you not self-harm and could realize it is not her problem, but yours. You do not "control" how your wife feels anymore than she does how you do; she can't make you stop self-harming and you can't make her feel good/bad/indifferent; your plan has a lot of holes in it, most of them which are geared to catch your own foot! Don't feel "bad" about your desire for spite, do something for yourself to work on not needing it. It's an illusion, you only control yourself and your own actions.
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
 littlebitlost
|
|
#4
May 11, 2011, 09:07 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
GL. My husband hates my SI too.
__________________
Loving me's like chewing on pearls..... |
|
#5
May 12, 2011, 01:30 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
This approach will almost definately be extremely damaging for your relationship. What is the real end goal here? To hurt your wife or to hurt yourself? Are you using this as a way to 'condone' SI and put it under a different label? Are you craving attention from your wife? Are you mad at your wife and want to 'get back' at her?
If this is about SI, handle it the way you would other SI urges, but if this is really about your relationship, I would have a serious chat with your wife. Tell her what is upsetting you. Getting back at her like this won't solve the real problem and it will only hurt both of you. 
__________________
She wishes things were different, but the wishes don't mean anything. I am trying to hear myself think here But all I can feel is the pain. I just want to curl up and stop my aching heart . |
|
#6
May 12, 2011, 02:44 PM
|
||||
|
||||
|
I've SI'd out of spite before. I know it's a great way to hurt my husband and closest friends, and also sometimes it's sort of "I'll show you how much you hurt me on the inside by doing it on the outside". Of course I feel horrible afterwords. And EVERY SINGLE TIME I've SI'd out of feeling angry and hurt and abandoned by my friends and family, I've turned out to be WRONG about what was going on. It has always turned out to be a misunderstanding.
Yeah, go talk to your wife about what's going on. Don't be stupid like I was. |
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
