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  #1  
Old May 22, 2011, 08:03 PM
Catlovers141 Catlovers141 is offline
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Location: Massachusetts
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My T and I have been discussing telling my parents that I cut and have an ED. I am 20 years old and they know none of this. They know I am in therapy but they don't know why. The only reason why I would tell them would be in case I have to go to a treatment center that would show up on insurance.

I decided to tell them about the SI first because it just seemed easier. I didn't give a lot of details. I pretty much said it was happening. I downplayed it a lot because I started panicking halfway through.

Anyway, my parents were helping me move my things to my dorm room (where I stay during the summer because I work at the college as well), I was looking for a hook on the wall to hang something. I saw one on the ceiling and asked my dad what it was for. He said it was for me to hang myself on.

I found it extremely hurtful and distasteful. Not only because of the horrible SI reference but also because they know that one of my friends committed suicide two months ago and a method similar to that was what I thought of when I was suicidal earlier in the semester (which they do not know about).

I don't know what I want from this post. I guess I just want to see if other people would find this as hurtful as I did and how exactly I would go about explaining the other things if the need arises.
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Issues/Diagnoses: Dysthymia, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Dissociative Disorder Not Otherwise Specified (DDNOS), bulimia, self-injury
Medication: Prozac, ativan


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  #2  
Old May 22, 2011, 08:13 PM
Can't Stop Crying's Avatar
Can't Stop Crying Can't Stop Crying is offline
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Maybe your dad was trying to lighten the mood? IDK...seems inappropriate and very hurtful no matter what his intentions were. I guess if it was me, I would gradually try to let my parents know what was going on, without minimizing it. I find people making jokes about sui in general to be very hurtful. Perhaps if your parents knew how much you were struggling, they would be able to be more sensitive. Hang in there, okay? You did a good job in the first step of letting your parents in a little bit, now if you can find that same courage to open up a little bit more, they might be a good support resource for you. Good Luck!
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Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives.
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  #3  
Old May 22, 2011, 08:25 PM
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googley googley is offline
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(((((((((((((((CatLovers))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry your father said that. I would be very hurt if someone said that to me. I'm so sorry your parents didn't understand what you were trying to tell them. Have you talked about this with your T? I think that would be your next best step.
  #4  
Old May 23, 2011, 10:30 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Hi Cat, many people use humor as a way to cope when they are distressed by topics. Yes, I can see how it would be hurtful .......
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  #5  
Old May 23, 2011, 01:42 PM
becoming_unbroken becoming_unbroken is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Posts: 17
You sound just like me. I'm also 20 with SI and ED.
I have told my parents about this stuff because it's been a problem since I was 14.
My dad makes jokes when he feels awkward or doesn't know what to say. It doesn't make what your dad said right, but it can help you understand. One of the best things I ever did was to talk to my dad about this. If I was you I would say "Dad, I'm sorry if I make you worry about me and that I haven't been very good with communicating with you, but I would really appreciate it if you could try not to make hurtful remarks about what I struggle with"

Communication is important because parents get really scared when their kids struggle with this sort of problem. They don't understand or know what to do. Some family therapy might help...

Anyway, I'm sorry that you had to go through this and are struggling. It's really great that you did tell your parents about ED - well done!!
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Courage doesn't always roar.
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow".
  #6  
Old May 23, 2011, 07:53 PM
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PTSDlovemycats PTSDlovemycats is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2010
Location: Canada
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Can't Stop Crying View Post
Maybe your dad was trying to lighten the mood? IDK...seems inappropriate and very hurtful no matter what his intentions were. I guess if it was me, I would gradually try to let my parents know what was going on, without minimizing it. I find people making jokes about sui in general to be very hurtful. Perhaps if your parents knew how much you were struggling, they would be able to be more sensitive. Hang in there, okay? You did a good job in the first step of letting your parents in a little bit, now if you can find that same courage to open up a little bit more, they might be a good support resource for you. Good Luck!
I agree with CSC completely!
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