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  #1  
Old May 17, 2011, 10:36 PM
Anonymous59365
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This "depression" or whatever it is....it sucks all the life out of me. I don't care about anything. I miss all those I've lost. I'm not living any more. I exist and I hate every minute of it. It physically hurts more than any thing I've ever experienced.
I was recently inpatient where they regulated my meds and gave me some hope. After a whole week of feeling normal, a nurse decided I was manic and called my p-nurse who, without even asking me, cut my meds. I am now in that black place again and unwilling to trust the medical profession.
The one good thing is I will finally get into my dream university, Harvard. I did a full body donation to Harvard Medical school because that may be my only reason for being born. I am not planning anything drastic and my T knows how I feel...just venting....

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  #2  
Old May 18, 2011, 10:47 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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You couldn't contact the nurse who cut your meds? Does your pdoc know how you are feeling now?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #3  
Old May 18, 2011, 11:18 AM
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thine_self_untrue thine_self_untrue is offline
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She wishes things were different, but the wishes don't mean anything.

I am trying to hear myself think here But all I can feel is the pain.

I just want to curl up and stop my aching heart .
  #4  
Old May 18, 2011, 07:39 PM
Anonymous59365
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I have contacted the p-nurse (same as p-doc) they all know. After a while it's same old ***** to them and me.
  #5  
Old May 19, 2011, 09:33 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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So what did they say about the med change and your response to it?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #6  
Old May 19, 2011, 08:17 PM
Anonymous59365
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Direct quote "Oh well...it's better than mania".
  #7  
Old May 20, 2011, 12:13 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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Do you agree that you were manic?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #8  
Old May 21, 2011, 09:46 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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(((((((((((((( Calista ))))))))))))))

ugh. How freakin unhelpful of them. grrrrrrrrrr! I'm so sorry they behaved like buttheads!
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  #9  
Old May 25, 2011, 09:24 PM
Anonymous59365
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I was hypomanic which is such an improvment over what I was feeling. I wasn't running down the street naked or anything crazy...I just felt really good and confident for a change.
Since I fired med nurse, I got a new p-doc who may help. We'll see...
  #10  
Old May 26, 2011, 11:45 AM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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I'm certainly no expert in bipolar but my understanding is that most people who have it like their manic phase?
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #11  
Old May 27, 2011, 08:15 PM
Anonymous59365
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I never got all the way into Mania....just hypomanic confortable compared to the hell I'd been in for the last few years. I was not doing anything outrageous but I felt GOOD...like a human being again.
Thanks for this!
Sannah
  #12  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 01:55 AM
Anonymous59365
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I hit bottom again. I cannot stand this rapid up & down along with the DID. It's exhausting. I was out.
Something broke in my head a few years ago and it's been downhill from there. It's black and scary and I'm done. There is no help. I want out.
  #13  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 12:23 PM
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Sannah Sannah is offline
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I answered your other thread on this topic.
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........

I'm an ISFJ
  #14  
Old Jun 01, 2011, 06:13 PM
Anonymous59365
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Well t/y sannah but I have no idea what you mean. I never remember where I've posted or what I've posted so I guess I'll need to look for it.


Found it! Ok thanks Sannah

Last edited by Anonymous59365; Jun 01, 2011 at 06:30 PM. Reason: forgot something
Thanks for this!
Sannah
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