[googley]

I had a really hard session today. We got into talking about my being attacked and the details of it. It just makes me want to cut. I was sitting there in session and all I wanted to do was cut my wrists. But I couldn't tell my T. And then session was over and there wasn't time to mention it. I still want to cut. I want to make all the bad feelings go away. I feel so awful. And she is out of town next week. I feel so alone. She said that I should write or do art or go on a walk. But I feel so awful inside. And it's not like I can take a walk as it is in the middle of the night now. I don't want to keep fighting the feelings. I feel so awful I don't even have the words to explain it.

[Salmacis]

Please hang in there, googley!! Sometimes, it helps me to listen to some really upbeat music that I like for awhile... and though you can't go for a walk, maybe you can do some stretching... or have some stairs to walk up & down?

[Christina86]

Originally Posted by googley

I had a really hard session today. We got into talking about my being attacked and the details of it. It just makes me want to cut. I was sitting there in session and all I wanted to do was cut my wrists. But I couldn't tell my T. And then session was over and there wasn't time to mention it. I still want to cut. I want to make all the bad feelings go away. I feel so awful. And she is out of town next week. I feel so alone. She said that I should write or do art or go on a walk. But I feel so awful inside. And it's not like I can take a walk as it is in the middle of the night now. I don't want to keep fighting the feelings. I feel so awful I don't even have the words to explain it.

Boourns! That sucks, leaving you in the lurch like that. Did you ever have a talk with T about people you could call if you felt like cutting? Some sort of phone list? We do have a list of things you can do instead of SIng in this forum.

Writing sometimes helps me, usually it turns into a big long emo post (which I used to do a lot of!). Other times, just sleeping it off. If I go to sleep, I can't hurt myself.

[googley]

Thank you both. I am feeling a little better today. The urges are still there, but they aren't as strong. I feel like with the sleep I've got I've been able to stuff some of the crap back in it's box so it isn't pushing as hard.

[Sanada]

Originally Posted by Salmacis

Please hang in there, googley!! Sometimes, it helps me to listen to some really upbeat music that I like for awhile... and though you can't go for a walk, maybe you can do some stretching... or have some stairs to walk up & down?

up beat music can make the world shine, great idea. Salmacis.

[googley]

I hate that the urges keep coming and going. I wish they would go away and stay away. It would be so easy to just give in to them. But I know that wont help, it will just make things worse. I'm trying to stay busy. I didn't realize before doing this how much the trauma processing was going to mess me up. I don't think my T realized that either.

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((( googley )))))))))))))

[WePow]

(((((((((Googley))))))) It is hard when we need to tell T about things IN session but don't bring them up or can't. I encourage you to write this all out and then put it in an envelope and seal it. Give it to T the start of next session.