[hereiam]

Some people do it because they get to an unmanagable, explosive level type anxiety. Others do it because they can't seem to feel, they want to know they are alive. Others do it to punish themselves. Why do you do it?

I do it because of the explosive type anxiety.

[bipolar_bear]

I do it because at times I can't cope with overwheming feelings. Maybe that is the same as anxiety; I don't know.

[hereiam]

I think so. I describe it as an explosive (or implosive, depending on how you look at it) type of anxiety because I feel like something is building up inside of me that I don't know what it is and that I can't control. It's all just so overwhelming that I want to scream, cry, curl up into a ball and go sprinting as fast as I can all at once.

One of the reasons I began cutting was because someone else that I knew was. Then I tried it one day after an abuse situation and was amazed because I no longer felt the physical pain from the abuse but felt the fresh cut I had made. Then I continued as diversionary tactic. but somewhere along the way I started craving that kind of pain cutting gives. Sounds wierd and I have no idea where it comes from but a saying goes through my head - pain is good. So when I'd hear that voice I'd cut to make it go away. As time went on I found other things that hurt and made that voice go away. pretty soon I didnt wait to even hear that voice. Whenever I was alone I was doing something to hurt myself. One day a friend caught me so I tried to stop. Then I learned to cut and stuff after things built up to explosion level. Now why do I do it? Partly because of the voice and partly because of explosion level - need to feel the pain to make the voice go away and release after things build up to a certain level.

When I use to cut it was because it felt like I was releasing the pain-not inducing pain.
I guess there are those who do it for the pain while others go for the release of it? Or is that separated by explosive types and the numbed?
????

for me I do both but I wouldnt be surprised if some do for one reason and others do for the other. for as many ways to cut there are many reasons to cut.

[blackdragon]

I do it because i get too much emotions builded up and i also do it for punishment.

[Lexicon78]

I do it for all the above reasons mentioned...it all depends on the situation...

If I can't handle my emotions and they become too powerful, I cut. If I'm feeling guilty or ashamed about something terrible that's happened, I cut. When my anger becomes too much for me to handle and I feel like I'm gonna hurt someone, I cut...you get the picture. It's all of these reasons and so much more. I have begun to romanticize my cutting, at least that's what my counselor has said in the past.

Cutting to me is very sacred...I would never do it for attention. I would never flaunt it, even though I feel proud when I do it, but I do not hide it either. I do not feel shame when I cut...not like most people do...

Aah, to cut is wonderful for me...

[Rapunzel]

Originally for me it was because I didn't know what else to do with overwhelming feelings. They had to go somewhere. Later, it was in order to prove that my feelings existed. I didn't feel like other people believed me about how I felt, and was to the point where I was questioning it myself. Eventually, it became like a reflex. Any time I was upset I would express it physically, and I didn't care. It became an addiction. It didn't used to feel good, but then it did. Just the suggestion of pain feeling good can now make me want to do it again, even without having any reason. I haven't cut since August, but I have wanted to.

[_embrace]

I think I largely do it because of anxiety, whether directly or indirectly. Directly, when I'm anxious, it helps me regain focus in general, stops racing thoughts...I'm not sure how it does this, but it does. Indirectly, because I allow anxiety to dictate my actions sometimes in certain situations (usually running away from some sort of social interaction) I do it as punishment for allowing that to happen.

So I guess it's two because of two different reasons that boil down to a single, main reason.

[StargazerLily]

All of the above.
And sometimes I'm one of the people I hate most, the ones that do it just for the hell of it..I dunno, guess I'm trying to prove something in that case

[SerenitysWave]

<font color="purple">For me it is feeling of release. A release of what is going on on the inside. Growing up, it was not acceptable for me to express myself unless it was a smile. I had many emotions built up and altho back then I didnt udnerstand that I would hurt myself on purpose because of that, as I got older and my S/I intensified, I became aware of the why's. I have not hurt myself in a while now, but oh those everyday accidents sometimes trigger that urge. It is a constant struggle. In many wasy the emotion pain is far more painful than the physical.
Melinda </font>

[Beautiful_Pain]

<font color="blue">All of the above, and then some...</font>

[Overcastbutclearing]

It is the best high I have ever felt.
No drugs can come close to the release and relief I feel.
People say..."doesn't it hurt?" Hurt? My no...it feels so good!
It is my drug!