[Katix3]

Hey guys! Um..Yesterday I cut after 3weeks and I feel like I can never get past that. I'm glad to say my scars are healed. I have 5 that are visible plus the one from yesterday. I'm also starting to feel like total **** because of the way I look. I wish I looked so much better no one even knows. If I call my bestfriend she forget about it later and she must not care that much because she never checks to see if I still am and I haven't brought it up because I don't want tot sound like an annoying weirdo.I can't talk to anyone..no one about my secret. I tell a teacher and BOOM! my like is even more total ****. So it's no win thing going on here. I feel like everyone thinks my life is great but no staying home 8hrs alone with a 5month old baby is not okay -____- It's not even mine,He's my brother..I shouldn't have to do that it's not fair. I haven't went shopping..like shopping in GOD KNOWS HOW LONG!?! I feel like if I had the time and money to get a new outfit some make-up it might boost my confidence? I see pretty girls everyday I look at them..then I look at me -_- I wanna look like them...all skinny fitting into a size 5! No I'm to freaking fat. I see so many beautiful girls I wish to be one but no I'm the ugly duckling among the others. I can't even distract myself! I don't do anything good! I feel like there is no place in this world for me...Maybe not the world..country maybe...Ooh Maybe I'll move to Korea.OFT Sorry but My confidence has been crappy and I'm moving again next year..Yay -_- I can honestly say Idgaf what happens.I'm still going to be the same person. OH OH OH and I hate guys they piss me off I feel like total **** around them. I feel like I need to be naked to be noticed sometimes...The guy that I did like just wanted one thing and one thing only,Must I say it? Intercourse...Yeah no I knew him for 3 days he wants to come to my house. No you stinky bastard! Why can't you like me for who I am?..Kind of a rant-ishy but I needed to get it out of my system.

[Sannah]

Hi Kati, it would be hard to be young and have to take care of a baby. You know, I grew up not attractive and I sort of think it was a blessing. I came from a poor and uneducated family and now I have a Masters degree, married a wonderful educated man and live a really nice life. How was that related to what I looked like? I feel that if I would have been attractive a lot of boys would have been interested in me and because of that I don't think I would have gotten to where I am today. How could that be? If a lot of boys would have been interested in me it would have made my life more interesting and I probably wouldn't have escaped the small, isolated town that I grew up in. I probably would have gotten married early and not gotten anywhere in life like I eventually did.

The kids who are "it" in high school frequently top out close to there. The nerds and quiet kids in school are the ones who go way beyond that and go greater distances as adults.

It might be a blessing................