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#1
Nov 26, 2011, 05:30 AM
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I've almost gone the whole year without SI... it was my goal, still is... to go the whole year SI free. the reward is a tattoo, i got the first part of the tattoo done at the 1/2 way point. now its just weeks until the end of the year and i get the tattoo finished up with the word "survivor" on my arm. maybe some birds flying, not sure yet.
however... i thought it would get easier by now. i still get such strong urges, especially tonight. I have these intense feelings like I am going to SI and it makes me feel afraid... i just feel like giving in and being like well, it'll never go away so might as well just give in cause it'll always be stuck with me... i think about this every day... i don't obsess about it that much but it is on my mind at least once a day, and usually at night, the urge gets so intense i am fearful I will give in one of these days I was reluctant to take my meds and go to bed, because my new med is one you dissolve under the tongue and it tastes horrible yet you cannot drink for 10 minutes so you are stuck with the taste the whole time, and it numbs your tongue some. it works so well, but taking it kinda sucks. but now, somehow i have lost track of time and it is 4:30am! I had been doing so well with sleeping at night and being awake during the day, and now I have messed up. makes me so depressed I want to give in to SI. i hate this med, but it works so well, i don't want to get off it, cause it helped me lower my hypomania and is the first med in a LONG time to ever help me sleep. so i feel like id go crazy without it... but damn, i don't want it in my mouth. sigh.. just do not know what I'm going to do...
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#2
Nov 26, 2011, 05:53 AM
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(((((((((((((((((((kris))))))))))))))))))))) Try having a mint at the same time when you are taking the med.....for my vomiting the med i was given had to be dissolved between me upper lip and gum...the taste was horrid.....if i took it i would have a mint to try and get rid of the taste which it did work....or i would try and sleep while it was dissolving....just a few things...hope this might help you!! Please try not giving into it hun!! You are so strong!! Love you sis!! Massive hug's!!
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 Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you. iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again |
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#3
Nov 26, 2011, 04:39 PM
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Might you be afraid of success?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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#4
Nov 26, 2011, 08:35 PM
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#5
Nov 26, 2011, 08:45 PM
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(((((krisakira)))))
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#6
Nov 29, 2011, 02:44 PM
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(((((((((((((((((((((((((kris))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
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Don't get caught up in what could be, instead appreciate what is. Appreciate what you have & who you have, because the future can take it away from you. iamspecial is thinking....when all else fails....sit back...look at it....then re-think and start again |
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#7
Jan 12, 2012, 04:19 AM
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I just wanted to update that I did not SI and I have not since.
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| roads, Sannah
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#8
Jan 12, 2012, 08:26 AM
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(((( kris ))))
proud of you!!! and i want to see the tattoo!!!!!! you have worked so very hard for this.
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Only as high as I reach can I grow, only as far as I seek can I go, only as deep as I look can I see, only as much as I dream can I be. Karen Raun |
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#9
Jan 12, 2012, 01:27 PM
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Well I don't have the money for a tattoo right now so it'll have to wait
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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