[jazzy123456]

please don't get angry but,

1. I cut to see my internal pain visualized externally.

2. I cut because it makes me numb to emotions

and agn, don't get angry

3. but, I feel bad because a part of me does cut to ONLY get a small bit of concern, to know my T cares... so a small bit of attention from T. But, I don't run around telling people. My last counselor knows. best friend knew. and one girl I told because she was already doing it- I told her cus she told me first.

However, I feel bad for the third reason. Like I said in my earlier post I haven't cut for 2 years but, I wanted to remember what it felt like, I wanted to see if it would make me feel better and Honestly, I feel like I have some 'validation' deficit-- like because as a child my pain wasn't validated I have to act out to make sure it does get validated and I repeat the process... a process I don't just do with cutting but, with life in general, a process that in some ways seems attention-seeking, but, its only because I have this deep need for my pain to be heard and I'm always thinking it won't be.

Would my T be angry if she knew all of this?

[doglover5]

I think that if a good T would be glad if you printed out your post and showed it to her that way she could help you work through your thoughts/ feelings!

[Sannah]

Hey Jazzy, you seem worried if someone will get angry with you?

Can you get your pain heard by talking about it in therapy? This is the healthy way to go about it.

Remember that cutting will start you on another round of it most likely so try really hard to not go there.

[ickydog2006]

Your T will not get angry at any of this, it's a good thing to be honest with her (or him).