[LittleMilly]

Could writing about SI trigger SI-ing because lately while i've been writing poems i will start thinking SI-ing and suicidal thoughts... should i stop writing these poems

Milly

yup that happens sometimes with me and when it does for me it means something else is going on so I need to step back and find out why I am writing about it to begin with. I don't just out of the blue start writing about my SI. Its either related to my thoughts of alread feeling like I want to or because the subject came up during therapy. But the only time I feel the urge to cut during writing is when I have been thinking BEFORE writing and the writing made me aware that that thought was there stronger then usual and the reason behind that urge needs to be take care of.

[heartspace]

I might suggest, if it's ok, that perhaps the urge to write about your SI is similar to the urge to carry it out: in other words, you're expressing pain. So even if you weren't writing the poems, you might still feel the urge to SI. Do you find writing about the poems helpful? Do you find if you stop yourself from writing about SI, that your negative thoughts go away?
I don't think I'm explaining myself terribly well. But hopefully I've given you some stuff to think about that might help you find the answer you're looking for.

me? no I don't stop myself from writing about it. I journal write from all angles. like

bla bla bla bla bla (cutting thoughts and so on)
(while still writing )great this is loaded when did this start happening what was I doing today I went to the store, library, a friends was I thinking about this then not when I woke up on the way toi the store maybe no I was talking to a friend that was walking with me and I was having too good a time ate lunch sandwhich I did stand there looking at the new knives so right there but what was it lunch lunch lunch what was going on then oh yea my friend was over and we were making sandwhiches and sitting at the table and talking her boyfriend came in asked her to go home to be with the baby he had to get to work smelled I left the tqable cause he smelled and went into the kitchen a sensory flashback started was going to cut to get out of it decided to get ice cubes out and feel the coldness in my mouth instead of cutting but I still wish I did it thats why Im feeling like this know no wonder this loaded writing ok now what do i need to do now. Cause there is no way I am going to let the reminder of my abusers calogne make me cut. my abuser is dead and cant hurt me now I am going to put on some music and get on line and see if a friend is still on line or play a few games and check in on the support groups and .....

Milly.. this type of writing is called free writing and it helps me alot to keep from cutting maybe it will help you too... hang in there.

[LittleMilly]

thanks myself