scared

ok so i have been cutting scene i was 13..... i am 15 now i feel like i need to be open about my cutting (i never have been open with it) i just told my mom that i am cutting and i am truly scared whats going to happen i need some tips on how not to cut please get upset at me

Hi Tomboy, First of all congratulations on being open with your mom. That was really brave of you and took a lot of courage.

Every time you tell someone it takes a little bit of the shame away so you have taken an important first step. I know it was hard. I didn't start cutting until I was 52 and I had to tell my husband and children - that was scary too. Then my therapist - took a long time till I was honest with him. So that's why I really admire you for being able to talk to your Mom. How did she react? Was she supportive?

As far as not cutting is concerned, that is a minute by minute thing sometimes. What works for one person might not work for another. I will share what works for me. Sometimes I hold ice cubes in my hands until they get really numb and actually start to hurt - this takes my mind off the need to cut. Other times I take a very, very hot shower for as long as I can stand it. Seems the extreme heat or the extreme cold are good distractors for me. Sometimes I journal - write and write and write - just get all the horrible and ugly feelings and emotions and thoughts down on paper. Sometimes I call my best friend - she's not a cutter but she is bipolar like me and she understands what it's like to feel REALLY anxious and about to explode and need to do SOMETHING, ANYTHING to not feel that way. Sometimes, and don't laugh, I hug my 100 lb golden retriever really tight. He's real lovable and loves to be hugged and will sit real still for a long time while I hug him. If you can try to think of what you're feeling and what it is you REALLY need that's causing the urge to cut, you can satisfy that urge some other way. Sometimes I need love, sometimes I need to cry, sometimes I need to get angry (I get in my car and yell at the top of my lungs or pound my pillow really hard) I know some of these things sound silly but they DO work for me. OK, I'll admit it - sometimes crunching really hard on a candy bar does it for me too

Tomboy, this habit is really hard, really really hard to stop, so just take it one day at a time, and don't beat yourself up if you fail. Just start over and tell yourself at least you tried your best. And keep posting and let us know how you're doing. There are some really great people here in PC - I know - I've gotten some great advice and some good laughs from these message boards.

Be gentle with yourself and with your body. And most of all, love yourself. You're worth it!!

well i told her in 3 am so she had some time to think about it and all my cut was infected so i had to show her it i hated to see her face when see saw it i can barely even be in my room now and i am scared idk i am just scared she don't want me on here as much because it looked like it was getting worse but i was trying to get help here so i might not be on as much she is supportive but i am going to see a T ... i am scared really scared .... what if i want to cut and the T tells my mom i don't want that yea i love my dogs to i will try that thanks

Tomboy, I'm glad that you told your mom, that she is supportive and that you are getting a T. I am sorry that you are scared. Let us support you here. Please continue to keep us posted on how you are doing.

Don't worry about telling a therapist. Whatever you tell a therapist is confidential - only between you and the therapist. They are bound by law - they can't tell your parents so please try to open up and talk to a therapist. I know it's scary but believe me, they've heard it before and won't be shocked or make you feel ashamed. And having been there myself, I can tell you that it is a relief to tell someone who is trained to be non judgmental about it.

Good luck tomboy. I understand if your Mom won't let you go on PC more often - she probably thinks it's "giving you ideas" or "triggering you to cut". Just update us when you can - we care about you

i am kinda going nuts i can barily be alone and it makes me want to cut more idk what to do she still wants to talk more but i cant handle all of it and she sees that i havent seen a t yet or even talk about getting one i am scared i can barily sleep and i am making my self sick from worrying and stressing out ..... any tips

No tips tomboy other than what I've already shared. And to try to breathe a lot and to take it one minute at a time. Try to keep busy with something, anything, to stay out of your head and not be thinking, thinking all the time.

Hugs to you ((((tomboy))))

Whenever I get the urge to cut, this is what I do.

I go online and read published articles about cutting. Like, research articles from an objective point of view. And as I read more and more, I start thinking to myself, What the heck... I'M the person they're talking about?! I can't be this person....

Of course, it could be triggering to many, but I use it to my advantage.

my mom is realy getting on my nerves and i am trying to handle it as best i can but its getting hard its been 3 day with no cutting thank u all for the help

Actually, when you are a minor the parents are the client (legally) and the therapist has to tell the parents things, especially SI, SU, etc.

So are you getting a therapist?

probly yes but idk if i am going to tell them when i want to cut i dont want my mom it know i am starting to get a little bit of fedom it makes me feel alittle better what is t like what is goin to happen

It can be a place where you talk about your feelings, your worries, your concerns, etc.

i just cut i feel so awful but i want to cut more i am goin to hide the cut from my mom idk want more to do

Get that therapist ASAP.

even if i told my t that i wanted to cut .... they will tell my mom and that will make me want to cut more ......... i am so counfused

What is wrong with your mom knowing that you want to cut? These urges cannot just disappear. Your T can educate your mom that you have to work on the reasons for the urges before the urges are going to go away. There are no magic bullets here.

my mom is get letting me have my freadom back and if i tell her that i want to she will take that away i need time so i can jsut be in my room a little bit u know what i mean

Having the urges and following through on them are 2 different things.

ugh i cut agein i am so tired of life i dont want to end up in a hospl

Why don't you want to go to the hospital?

i dont like hospl there scary and they freak me out ..... what is it like for a cutter to be put in a hospl

So you have been there before and it didn't work out so well?

no i havnt gone there and i dont want to i am scared to go

You are afraid to not be able to cut (if you are in the hospital)? You sound so anxious through out this thread. Do you and your mom live alone? (Just wondering who else that you have in your support system).

yea thats what i am afaid of i live with my mom and dad i am stressing over getting and seeing a t i think my mom is goin to make a appoment this week