What's going on???

I just can't figure it out. I am in a phase right at this moment where my thoughts are consumed by SI. It is always at night (being 9.20pm here now), and none of my distraction techniques that I have tried have worked. I'm gonna try an anxiety tablet when I log off, but the more s*&t that is piled on top of me, the more buried I'm becoming. I'm told that I'm doing really well, I'm being really strong, and yet there are 3-4 ppl out there trying to sabotage me having my girls in my care full time as a single mum. I even gave my husband (separated just) an ultimatum last week. Take the kids and leave me alone or I have the kids and he stops running to anyone who will listen about his 'concerns' for me. I just realised that this is kind of a rhetoric post- I have more or less answered my own question. But it still doesn't help me over the next hour, which is when I am going to be on my own with these thoughts that are so intense. I only want what is best for my girls. Maybe that is for them to go into care...???

I'm not the best person to be doing this right now but...

((((((((((((((((((irishsj)))))))))))))))))))))

I don't have any explanations for you as to what you could do, but take care of yourself okay? Whatever decision you make is the right one.

Thanks canders. I guess we are both pretty much in the same place right now, so at least we can kinda relate to each others situation a bit. You take care of yourself too, ok?!

Will do. How are things? Any better?