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#1
May 05, 2012, 08:03 AM
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I cannot go swimming with my 5 year old daughter because of the scars on my arms and legs. Though it may be seen as superficial I feel as though as she's missing out.
Does anyone else have any other ways it can ruin your life? Maybe by hearing them it can give us that extra boost to stop. |
 ba.ll.oo.n, FireBird, purplelephant, Sannah
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#2
May 05, 2012, 10:54 PM
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Quote:
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#3
May 06, 2012, 05:54 AM
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When you eventually stop SI another battle seems to begin and that is how do you live with the physical signs of what was once an emotional problem. My daughter when she saw my scars for the first time asked 'mummy what are these' my initial reaction was to pretend that she didn't see them and distract her by tickling her. |
| cmlwtcos
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#4
May 06, 2012, 10:00 AM
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You end up being very secretive and isolating yourself from people that matter. By the time you're done fighting the battle, you realize that there are too many relationships that have gone MIA.
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#5
May 06, 2012, 10:10 AM
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Long sleeve shirts and pants are a drag on hot days ...
Reluctant to go in for physicals because I don't want to have to explain ... OMG! ... Just like trying to hide the signs of "abuse" when I was growing up ... !!! But now instead of it being my abusers abusing me ... It's me abusing me ... !!! 
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#6
May 06, 2012, 06:38 PM
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It sucks not being able to go out with new people on hot days, in fear of the judgments. Meeting new people, or being at work where the uniform is a t shirt is so nerve racking seeing the way people stare. Its never fun continuously being worried about if they'll ask about my arms or how they can't look away. I won't make new friends, and don't really go to public places when its summer time. Because I'm way to afraid of what people will think.
---------- Pm me for email/number * |
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#7
May 06, 2012, 07:39 PM
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It can make it very hard to get and maintain jobs depending on where it is on your body.
A lot of scars won't go away no matter how many different scar removal products you try. It can make intimate relationships difficult. Even once you are better, you will be reminded every single day of what you did to yourself. Trying to hide causes so much more stress than it's worth. You will hurt everyone who cares for you. Self injury will end up controlling your life. |
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#8
May 07, 2012, 10:58 PM
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Kids get older, scars get harder and harder to explain away Friends/acquaintances ask about the scars, and don't give up when you just don't want to talk about it |
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#9
May 09, 2012, 12:40 AM
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Someone, at some point, WILL find out. You may think you can hide it forever, I did too, but I was wrong. You can't. And unfortunately, people finding out can make things much worse...
Pretty obvious one here, but the scars. No more swimming, short sleeves/shorts/whatever, there's the constant worry of "Did I cover them?" "Did my shirt/pants slip, did someone see?" "Do they wonder why I wear long sleeves/pants all the time?" There's also the fact that they will probably always be there...even if you manage to leave SI in the past, that past is still with you... The risk of people walking in on you in the middle of it...and even if the door is locked, them wondering why it's locked. Being afraid to be alone, because you worry what you may do to yourself. The stress of avoiding it. The very frequent urges even once you've stopped. The stress of NOT avoiding it, and all that involves... Distancing yourself from people so they won't find out. Distancing yourself from people because you just don't care about them anymore. SI is all you care about. Stealing things to hurt yourself with, from stores/family/friends...anyone. The worry associated with stealing those things, and hoping people don't notice. Weird one here: actually trying to hide your very high pain tolerance...or people wondering why you can use knives so easily, quickly, carelessly...because you're so used to them you know you won't accidentally get hurt. Becoming self-destructive in other ways. Skipping classes (in college in my case), because you can't possibly wait another hour to go hide in a bathroom stall and hurt yourself. Consistently lowering self-esteem. Spending time SI-ing instead of dealing with the actual problem and learning how to cope. So even more SI, even less coping skills. Worsening depression/self-hatred/guilt/shame if you stop and then relapse. The self-destructive downward spiral it can and often does turn your entire life into. No longer caring about yourself. No longer caring about your life. ------------------------------------------- I'm sure I'll think of even more...that's enough for now. |
 KeepHoldingOn
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#10
May 11, 2012, 11:11 PM
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Nemo- its actually way to many reasons. U just stated ehy not to SI but there is so much goodness in SI. Its amazing. It really helps. And usually u feel the feeling u wrote about begore u SI
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#11
May 12, 2012, 01:35 AM
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I became so ashamed of my wounds that i switched my sleeping patterns. I tend to sleep from 7-8am untill 9-10pm and was awake all night. It means nobody wants to do stuff with me, and im ok with that. But at the same time, im missing out on the day. nothing happens at night. I have a massive anxiety/ fear about people out in public so i dont like doing much anyway so i didnt see it as a big deal that i never wanted to go anywhere, but my therapist is worried about the lengths im going to to hide it. these days i only leave my bed if i have to. and thats not how you want to end up.
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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