i emailed my T and talked about my SI briefly. I never really talk about it. I was nervous Its been several days and no email back. It hurts so much. This is the very first time I have emailed her and she hasnt emailed back.

I fear her giving up on me so much. I wonder if she has and thats why no answer

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

She's not giving up on you..she may not have gotten the emails and or she would rather talk in person briefly.. T's are trained not to say much or dwell on si ...they are told not to give it a lot of attention cause some will si more to get attention...sorry youre in pain

whats wrong with needing attn? i hav nobody who cares-- i guess not even her now

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

There isn't anything wrong with wanting attention but negative attention and ways to get it are frowned upon..I am just trying to answer your question and like I said above..she may not have gotten your emails...maybe you could call her or wait till you see her and ask if she got it..Good luck

[Fuzzybear]

I think Sleeps is on the right track.
Like I think someone said before, there is nothing wrong or shameful about needing attention.
But, part of getting healthier is aiming to give up on negative coping mechanisms (which are sometimes also pleas for attention?) like SI... and so T's often don't give much attention to people telling them about SI between sessions. Maybe write a letter to her and say how you need her care and attention and how you are hurt and disappointed, and give it to her the next time you see her?
I am sorry you are in pain... please keep posting....

Take care of you,
Fuzzy

[EJ711]

Dear Esther,

I'm sorry you are feeling abandoned by your T right now.

My p-doc made a comment that undermined my self-confidence. I'm so frustrated about the whole situation I could scream.

You have a lot of people here who care about you. Just keep talking to us, and take kind and gentle care of yourself.

Hugs,

EJ

tks guys. i still have a hard time understanding. she has no problem talking to me aobut my binging and purging between sessions. what is the difference? nothing really. actually the binging and purging is probably worse for my health. It just feels very rejecting for someone to pretend they dont care... or maybe not pretend. but it feels very punishing.

[Rapunzel]

EV, There could be lots of reasons why she hasn't written back to you yet. One of my former Ts gave me his email address and told me that I could write to him, and I would sit there getting more and more anxious and upset the longer time passed and he didn't write back. He didn't seem to recognize that he was required to write back, or that it mattered. I had to ask him when I saw him if he had gotten my email and what he thought about what I had said. I couldn't talk very well in session, so that was kindof the way it went. I sent email and he talked to me when I saw him. It was really hard to make that adjustment to accepting that, and I still got frustrated that he didn't write back, and sometimes after six weeks and something was still driving me nuts I wrote again and told him so. But that was just the way he was, and it didn't mean that he didn't care, just that he isn't so good at email, and goes for days or weeks without even checking it.

Even my current T, who mostly is working with me through email, doesn't always respond when I wish that she would. She gets overwhelmed with all that she has to do, and doesn't manage everything right away. Neither does she address everything that I say or ask her. She picks and chooses what she thinks is the most important or useful. Sometimes her responses depend on how I have responded to her in the recent past. For example, when she would give me praise and positive feedback, within the same week I often reported cutting or something. I think that I was doing that because after being told that I did something right, I felt confident enough to tell her about recent mistakes (that happened before she had given me positive feedback) and also usually the praise comes after I have gotten through something very difficult, and while i was struggling with that I slipped, but didn't want to tell her about it when it happened. So she is reluctant now to praise me. And her responses when I tell her about SI are never soothing or comfortable. I dread telling her when I mess up, because she makes it pretty clear that I should have done better.

EV, if you feel unsupported, talk to her about it and give her the chance to work it out with you. She probably has a good reason for not responding yet, whether it has to do with her own limitations and/or doing what she feels is best for you.

I know that you hurt, and it is okay to need attention. It's just that learning to work it out and learning patience may be the best things for you to help you to get better in the long run. That might seem far away when you need comfort now, but it will be here sooner than you know it, and the future is such a longer period of time than the present. The present is gone as soon as you blink.

TC,
Rap

[(JD)]

I'm sorry you are feeling forgotten. IMO Ts don't always answer everything we pose to them because they aren't the ones who do the work... we are! Though we need their guidance, if they answered right back (even in session) to everything we said, we wouldn't be processing OUR thoughts and feelings about it, but THEIR'S. It's a tough call, how long to wait. TC

i guess im not on the same wavelength. I just see my T as a person or a friend. I know she can't solve my problems, but I did think she was there to mirror how healthy people care. I think responding to someone's pain..even if just to say im sorry you are hurting.. do you need to talk about it next session... is just a way of caring. Nonetheless..thanks everyone for your responses.