[Breana]

My scars remind me times hhave been worse, and they somehow comfort me. When I cut it makes me feel in control, no one can tell mehow to mutilated my own wrists. But everytime I cut it gets worse and worse. Iknw I shouldn't but other things don't seem to help..

[agma]

Sorry you are struggling. I can relate to everything you wrote. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

[Breana]

Originally Posted by agma

Sorry you are struggling. I can relate to everything you wrote. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone.

Thankyou agma i appreciate it..:3

[Sannah]

Hi Breana, you don't feel in control of your life?

[Breana]

My parents and my friends try to dictate my life, I'm told when toshower sleep eat and when tonrelax. It's stressful.. When I cut its something I can do to remind myself I'm aa person not a dog.

[Sannah]

I see that you are 18. Can you start to take control back from these people?

[Breana]

Im starting to liberate myself from them mor and more, but they controlled my life so much..you have no idea it was like a prison.. its hard for me to make good decisions although i know whats right its hard not to want to run a blade down my arm and float away somtimes

[Sannah]

Very good! Changing how things are for you is a process. I'm sure that you must have some messages in your head about turning away from their control?

[Breana]

Yes i do i need to become independant and mature. I have wise intentions somtimes they dont turn out that way :P

[Sannah]

If you ever want to write one attempt out here it might be really helpful for you.

[Breana]

One attempt? of when it happened?

[Sannah]

Write out one of your attempts at freeing yourself from the will of others. I have always found doing this very helpful because working through stuff like this requires really understanding what is going on around you and inside of you. Writing it out improves your understanding.

[Breana]

One attempy of a time i cut?

[Sannah]

No, I'm talking about your attempts to free yourself from the control of others.

Originally Posted by Breana

Im starting to liberate myself from them mor and more, but they controlled my life so much..you have no idea it was like a prison.

[Breana]

Whhat do you mean?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Breana

My parents and my friends try to dictate my life, I'm told when toshower sleep eat and when tonrelax.

Originally Posted by Breana

Im starting to liberate myself from them mor and more

What have you been doing to liberate yourself from your parents and your friends?

[Breana]

What do you mean?

[Mike_J]

I like my scars too, they are one of the few artistic expressions that I have ever really made. Though let me point out I highly discourage any form of SI, yes it's coping mechanism it's a very unhealthy one.

But I don't feel a person should be made to feel ashamed of past SI, scars on the outside do seem to heal so much better than those on the inside.

[Breana]

Sorry I didn't see a second page so I thought I wasn't poring sorry I know whhat you mean thankyou <3

[akelaash16]

Wow Breana! you sound just exactly like me. sometimes i feel horribly ungrateful because my life is perfectly fine, but I still cut myself. for no reason. only thing is that I love watching myself bleed. I think I'm a little crazy...or is this just a "teenage phase"? I'm 13. but I don't think crazy urges to leave deep gashes on myself is right. I'm new here also anyone maybe help me please?

[aurill50]

Originally Posted by Breana

My scars remind me times hhave been worse, and they somehow comfort me. When I cut it makes me feel in control, no one can tell mehow to mutilated my own wrists. But everytime I cut it gets worse and worse. Iknw I shouldn't but other things don't seem to help..

me too. I only do it now when I'm super upset, but when I do they get deeper and deeper. I have two different episodes written on my skin now where they were really deep.

Before this last time, i found that replacing that urge to get that same "high" or "control" with something else that gives u the same feeling helps. Lot of times I have found dancing or exercising to be helpful.

[Breana]

Thankyou, and I never recommend cutting although relieves stress I found out that drawing for me relieves pressure bcs I work my emotions into it and then I get excited for how it turned out

I can definitely relate to all of this. SI does help alleviate stress and negative feelings, almost like, well, being reborn in a manner of speaking, because everything else disappears, and it feels great to hurt myself and be in control like that. Although it is bad, I do feel a sense of accomplishment the worse I SI, and like others here, the cuts and burns have become increasingly worse for me, too.

Ultimately, it is a bad habit and I am working to stop it. My counselor suggested a colouring book – she bought me an insect colouring book to doodle and draw in when I have SI thoughts.

We can beat this!

[Breana]

That is true and thankyou i havent SI in months and i feel acomplished it feels good to know i can show off my arms and such and not worry what people will think when they see my scars. :0 i hope you have success in stopping bcs it feels great to do so.. I feel more in control then when i did when i was cutting.