[musicsinmysoul]

All throughout high school, having moved away from my hometown, I was bullied and made fun of because of where I lived. A group of houses about 5 mins outside town, small, but it was only my mom and I. She had paid for the house completely upfront, all on her own, and we weren't poor. The kids at school seemed to think I was for some reason, and it was really terrible going to school. My mom and I never had a real relationship, she never talked about anything with me. I'd literally get home from school, she wouldn't say hi, wouldn't even look up at me, I'd go to my room, come down for dinner, then go to bed. I got depressed(at the time I didn't realize I was, I had never heard of it) and started scratching my arms. I had seen a show about cutting on tv, and somehow thought I'd try it. I never actually cut myself, just scratched my arms and wrists so that I felt better. I did that off and on for 3 years, and nobody knew. I tried to hide it, because I thought I'd get in some sort of trouble, but even when I let people see, nobody even noticed. Not even my mom. From then on my relationship with my mom was horrid, and I stopped scratching. I then turned to burning my arms with lighters, then saying I lit the candle wrong by accident. Still, nobody said anything. Without any help, I eventually stopped. My then-boyfriend when I was 18 made me feel good about myself and understood. He pretty much saved my life. I told him about my self-injury and promised I'd never do it again. I never did. Then the breakup was sudden, after a year and a half, and I was depressed again..this time I knew it. After all the pain I went through with the break up, I still never sunk low enough to hurt myself.

That I'm proud of. I still get frustrated now and then to the point where I want to cut, or scratch myself, but I don't. I've stopped.

[BleedingDestruction]

Your story makes me feel a little hopeful. I know that I can't stop self-injury yet, but you make me feel like maybe one day I'll be strong enough that I can stop. So thank you! Stay strong, okay?