Ive attempted SI 3 times always to be pumped and bandaged it was 18 years ago, but I feel the darkness calling again. I'm so tired... What should I do?

[AngelWolf3]

I did not see your post til this morning. I don't have really any advice, but I just wanted to let you know that we are here for you, and I hope you are doing okay this morning.
It is hard. I understand. I have been "fine" for like 10 years now, and for the past 6 months, it is all coming back.
I just want you to know you aren't alone.

[Sannah]

Do you have a T?

Yes Sannah, and I just left his office. Thank you for responding.

[AngelWolf3]

I'm glad you were able to see your T today. Hopefully it went well for you...?

Originally Posted by Wolfin3

I'm glad you were able to see your T today. Hopefully it went well for you...?

Yes , he made a connection for me that i never noticed. I become suicidal or begin entertaining those ideas as a way of regaining control, it gives me peace, in a tumultuous environment. Still processing it..

[AngelWolf3]

wow. That is a huge connection. I am glad he was able to help you discover that...

[Girl_Interrupted]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Do you have a T?

Lol you ask this so often xD Don't you get bored?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Girl_Interrupted

Lol you ask this so often xD Don't you get bored?

I believe that this is the only way to get better. I come here to help people. They aren't going to get completely better without a T. Having a T is the first step to recovery. I'm a very focused person and I don't waste time. Anything that I do, I do it the very best way possible to get the best results, so this influences how I attempt to help here.

Do I annoy you?

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by LolaCabanna

Yes , he made a connection for me that i never noticed. I become suicidal or begin entertaining those ideas as a way of regaining control, it gives me peace, in a tumultuous environment. Still processing it..

Wow, excellent T!

[Idiot17]

They aren't going to get completely better without a T. - Sannah
i disagree, what makes you think so?

[Sannah]

Who do you know that has gotten completely better without a T?

I have traveled the entire road. I went from having multiple, multiple problems to barely having any problems anymore. Therapy was a large part of that equation.

I have spent my life studying this stuff (I'm almost 50) and doing this stuff. I have a Masters in Social Work.

Of course we don't have to agree on this. I am as entitled to my opinion as you are to yours.

Most people have mental barriers formed from many years of either being in an inconducive environment or dealing with their mental illnesses. And for most people, facing these challenges alone is enough to cause them to go suicidal or to form a bigger wall around themselves & give up. I've personally never been to a therapist, myself, & am doing okay right now. But I'm always going to be going through the **** I deal with. I kind of owe it to myself to have an objective, professional opinion on my progress if I ever hope to stay in good health. Who knows what obstacles will appear one day to test my perseverance & my sanity? Needing medication is questionable, based on individual circumstances, & I know it will never work for me. But starting at the core & truly healing begins through analytical process & forming habits that can better help one cope or even find a cure.

Oh & OP -- Good thing you found the source of your unease. : )