[happysomeday]

Right this moment it is taking every ounce of inner strength I have to not burn myself with the iron. It's been 2 months since the last time I self-injured. I may ramble on here, it's to distract. I went through DBT training and distract is one of the skills. My heart is pounding so hard and fast right now--it's like I'm on a roller coaster and am almost at the highest point before the fall. Pure adrenaline rush. Fighting it is so hard. I don't know if I can do this.

[Emptty]

I'm glad you came on here instead. I'm proud of you for the effort your putting in because I've been there and it's not easy... sometimes it's unbearably hard but maybe you can hold onto the thought that it does get better. There's always a rainbow after a big storm.

[franu5]

I've been liveing an life as an cutter for all my life. I'm glad I
Have a place .where I can come an talk about it. Having did.add.
Bpd. PTSD, and been born with defect, called 47; xxy , which
Caused me to have all the disorders. As well as haveing chronic back pain, it's very easy to feel not connected to this world, and
Afraid to leave the house, so I installed cameras outside , so I can
Feel abit safer .and watch from my bedroom........the world outside
Without ever leaveing , my safe spot. But that don't mean I feel
Safe ,at night.......being mental ill ,most of my life, not being able to have a gun..... I protect myself , by haveing knives ,mace, and a
Very long blade beside me when I sleep. Thank you all ,for being
Here ,atleast I know I'm not all alone in this battle. I have MPs,
That is where you have more than one personality, I have 35 that
I'm aware of, the only one thAt we try to keep hid is cutter #2,......
He wants to kill the host ,as well as the rest of my sub- alters too.
I just hope with the help of everyone out here, things can
Improve.each night I welcome death, yet it never comes,instead I
Wake up to start anew day, feeling like the day before.

I feel broken, and have to live each day.....not kno