[ManicDad]

Got into a big fight with my ex wife last night. She said a lot of hateful things to me and with everything else that's going on, I just kinda snapped. Went into the bathroom and cut my leg pretty good. It helped me feel a lot better. So much I wanna do it again but I'm trying to resist. I'm trying to stay away from alcohol and drugs and SI and all my negative coping mechanisms but it's so hard. I really think that SI is the lesser of all of those evils which makes it easier to justify. Am I just kidding myself or what?

I just want some peace.

[krisakira]

One of my past therapists once told me that self injury is better than overdosing (I would OD for suicide attempt but cutting was not for suicide)...so it kinda made sense to me that if things got really bad, its better for me to just cut and get over it than for it to get even worse that i become suicidal... i don't know if this helps but it makes sense to me

[InTherapy]

Well, I think you're right on both counts. It DOES make it easier to justify, but it IS the lesser of the evils. It's good that you're working to be in a place where you don't rely on any of your negative coping mechanisms, but don't be too hard on yourself.

It's not going to happen overnight. Just keep working towards it, and if you slip up, forgive yourself. But don't use that as an excuse to SI at any time!

[Sannah]

How about being able to work out those feelings?

[ManicDad]

I wish it were that simple sannah. It's a lot harder for me to work out feelings due to there being so many repressed ones there.

On a positive note, I didn't SI last night. I even got rid of my blades so that is a step in the right direction. I wanna kick this once and for all. It's just gonna be hard.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by ManicDad

I wish it were that simple sannah. It's a lot harder for me to work out feelings due to there being so many repressed ones there.

Who said it was going to be simple? It isn't something that you are going to learn overnight but if you want your addictions to go away one day, working on how to deal with your feelings is what you are going to have to tackle. (And it will be a long process and those repressed feelings need to be dealt with).

[Harley47]

Congrats on getting rid of the blades. That is a major huge step of which you should feel proud.

Stopping SI is a very hard habit to break. Like alcohol or drugs, SI has an addictive quality due to the endorphins that the body releases when in pain. Endorphin functions like morphine in the body. It is quite possible to get addicted to that release.

However, you can get past this. It's not going to be easy by any stretch of the imagination, but it can be done. Just don't beat yourself up if you slip. A slip does not mean you've failed. A slip is simply a bump in the road.

Good luck. I wish you all of my best.

[ManicDad]

Thanks Harley. I appreciate that.