[Fuzzybear]

It's a new day. The blackness surrounds me, inside and all I see and feel is blackness pain emptiness and still more blackness. Now I know in order to survive i have to bleed, I have to cut the badness out, however long it takes. I know I am bad, I've been told it all my life so they must be right. My parents abused me, I hid in corners and now I hide in corners again. My life is my fault, my medical problems are my fault. Anything that goes wrong is my fault. I bought some new blades, I don't care about me. I don't matter so please don't worry I am one who slips through the cracks.

This isn't a suicide note it is a statement of despair and how I feel inside my rotten heart.

Be well (please don't end up like me)
Fuzzy

[SongBirdandDaisy]

"A LITTLE MORALE BOOSTER"

You're really something, do yo know that?
And in spite of whatever may happen in your day, you are going to stay that way: trying and giving and living life in the best way you know how. So keep your spirits up, and keep things in perspective. It's going to be okay.

You've made it through difficult things before, right? And you always land on your feet. Maybe not dancing: maybe not always sure about what to do next. But you always manage to figure things out. Especially when you're able to keep your sense of humor and not lose your smile.

If you really think about it, you'll realize that you are a very strong individual. Someone who may not have all the answers, but who is as at least willing to hope and try and believe. You can see your way through just about anything; it all depends on how you look at it. And when I look at you, I see someone who is ....... pretty amazing.

- Ceal Carson

Songbird

PS: You have no idea how much courage it took to look into this thread and answer your call. But, I did it. Just for you.

[silver_queen]

(((((((((((((((((( Fuzzy )))))))))))))))))))

This is NOT all your fault, you are NOT bad. Not everything that goes wrong is your fault. You can't be in control of everything.

Don't do anything you might later regret, ok?

Please be safe

Silver

Use those blades to cut in other objects than your body! You're valuable! Who would think of ruining a valuable stone by cutting and scratching it? No one! So please don't, Fuzzy!

(((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))

[Zorah]

(((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))) darling

You can't cut out the bad, because it's not in you. you are all good !!!!!

The bad is in the abusers & we can't cut it out of them,. sweet Fuzzy.

Please take care of you & Lucy

[Sabrina]

I am sorry Fuzzy. I don't know what to say. You are not bad but you are so hard on yourself.

Please try to stay safe. My thoughts are with you.

[Fuzzybear]

Thank you all so much!

I am trying to stay safe

[Lexicon78]

Fuzzy, there isn't a bad bone in your body! I don't care who has treated you badly or said you were bad...they were dead WRONG!

I was just thinking something...what do the razors represent? Or should I say who? It's just something to think about.

[Fuzzybear]

thanks Lex, that is a good point about the razors!

Oh fuzzyone!

I know all of the feelings you feel.

And I tell you, think of it in terms of if you were someone else - if someone else thought that way, you probably would think that they werent bad too! But its SO much harder when it comes to ourselves. Keep trying, I have faith in you. You made it this far you will make it farther.

[Fuzzybear]

thank you hon (((((((( Rainbow ))))))))

you have all made me cry with your kindness

See

You see my friend
You are a gift so sweet
Do not plan the end
Even if today you weep

Don’t let the darkness take you
Soon tomorrow will be here
To help you go through
And get rid of your fear
It will not last forever
Give yourself a chance
Let the life’s great power
Guide your steps in this trance

You see my friend
You are a gift so sweet
Together we can mend
Your broken love’s wreath

Found a new reason
For your unique journey
But, until then
I will share your pathway
We will not be apart
While you are too fragile to fight
Feed on the light from my heart
And take my star in the night

Because, you see my friend
You are a gift so sweet
You were freely given
To those, like you, who weeps

time0

[Fuzzybear]

thank you dear (((((((((((( Time0 )))))))))))))

[Rapunzel]

Fuzzy, do you know how much I relate to both feeling like my life is all my fault, and also falling through the cracks? Since I feel the same way that you do, could you maybe think of what you would tell me, and then apply it to yourself?

I would tell you that it's not your fault, but that's hard to believe sometimes. I'm having to look at the things that really are my fault right now, and I probably blow it out of proportion, especially in how bad I feel about it all. That's black and white thinking - concluding that I'm all bad. I wonder if you are doing some of that too.

Try to look at things that you can change and see what you can do. Remember nobody is perfect. Try to forgive yourself for being human like we all are. Forgiveness is letting go of the hope for a better past. We can't change the past, but we can work now to change the future.

As for falling through the cracks, when we were kids there wasn't all that much that we could do about it, and we were damaged because we did really need some help. But what can we do so that we don't fall through the cracks anymore now? You're stronger than you were than and you can make yourself heard. You can ask for help and you can receive it.

I don't know if this helps you or not - I'm just trying to share some of what I'm learning, and to let you know that I hear you and I understand.

Rap

[Fuzzybear]

Thanks Rap, your reply does help! Lots to think about! ((((((((((((( Rap ))))))))))))))