I'm a failure.

Well I did it. And really deep in fact. The deepest I have ever done it. It looks almost yellowish inside the cut. Oh well. Told my therapist and she hasn't replied. She probably hates me. Heck I hate me too.

She wont hate you, she probably will be concerned though.

I will second that - she won't hate you. We all slip every now and then, and that is ok. What is more important is what you do from here.

Please make sure you are looking after yourself - if the cuts are deep please make sure you are keeping them clean and if they don't heal or become infected seek medical help. No-one wants to see you get unwell

She won't hate you Katie...she's there to help. We all slip up. We're all human.

Do take care with the cut though...it shouldn't be yellowish. Please take care not to let it get infected. If I were you, I'd clean the area around the wound with alcohol (don't let it get inside the wound...that's bad for the tissue), and run some warm water over the wound itself to flush it out (in retrospect, not in that order...rinse then wipe). Try to keep a fresh bandage on it as best you can. If it starts to weep anything that looks like pus, or if you notice what looks like red "tendrils" coming away from the wound under the skin, please go to a doctor. That is a sign of serious infection.

Please take care Katie. Don't beat yourself up. This isn't the end of the road for you in dealing with SI. It's only a speed bump. It happens. Kicking yourself over it isn't what you need to do. Rather, acknowledge this was a slip up, and try to go on with the intention of not doing it again. That's the best anyone could ask.

You're in my prayers, and God bless.

Hugs,
Harley