[LostMom3]

I was upset and stressed. My middle son took 10 .5 xanax and 5 1mg klonopin. He called me and told me he made a mistake. I don't drive so I couldn't get to him. When he hung up on me, I called my youngest son that was with him. He promised that he had not taken any pills. Then he told me Brandon was laying on the bed. I asked where Brandon's girlfriend was. Luckily, she had just walked in. Maybe it was luckily. I told them to get him to drink some milk and to induce vomiting. He couldn't do it. I told them to keep checking on him and make sure he was breathing. They did for about 30 minutes and then they left and went to walmart. Her cousin stayed with him. He was fine. When my youngest son got back to the apartment he called me and told me Brandon was up and moving around. Was eating.
Needless to say, I was pretty stressed and in a panic. I had no one to talk to. Everyone here had went to bed. All my friends were in bed. I took a klonopin to calm down and it did not work. Then all I could think of was cutting, I knew if I cut that I would calm down. So, I did. A little deep, on my upper thigh. It is very sore now. I have cleaned it and put ointment on it. It did calm me down. But now I feel so guilty. It has been so long since I have done this. I think of it alot, but never follow through on the thoughts.
The only person who knows so far is my ex, that I just left. I had to talk to someone and he was the only one home or awake. He fussed at me for a while and then apologized that he hadn't been here to stop me. What is going to keep me from doing this again, It took so long to stop last time and now that I have slipped up, I am afraid that I will want to do it more and more.

sorry, lost mom.

hugs to you

[Sannah]

This would get anyone upset. After he was okay did you have a hard time calming back down?

[LostMom3]

Once I found out he was fine, I went right to sleep.