[jaundice137]

Hi all, never posted before but I feel like talking things out and sharing my stuff would be a good thing...

I started to SI when I was 14 and didn't stop until I was 17. During that time, I got pretty out of control and was doing it many times a day most days. I ended up stopping because I met my husband, and it made him so sad to see me hurt that it ended up hurting me more than helping me. I guess you could say the reasons I did it were many... feeling too much emotion was the most common, but feeling nothing at all was there too.

Even though I haven't done it for almost 7 years now, I still think about it every time I get overwhelmed. It's the first thing that enters my mind, and it's the thought that scrolls through my head when I start to obsess. I guess that's addiction for you, just like a person in AA always introduces themselves as an alcoholic no matter how long they have been sober.

I am coming up on the most stressful thing I have ever had to do in my life, and I feel so overwhelmed by it that sometimes it feels like I am going to fly apart into a million pieces. I am so scared that I will break down and hurt myself and then hate myself for breaking all of these years of self control. Sometimes I plan for it, then scold myself for doing that, plan how to make sure my husband doesn't find out so I don't feel even more guilty about it than I already would. I just want it to not be the first thing that pops into my head every time I feel overwhelmed.

I want to say hi to everyone here and hope you are all hanging in there and staying strong.

you're doing well.

not doing it for over 7 years... congrats!

[Sannah]

Sounds like you need to learn how to deal with feeling overwhelmed? Do you feel it is not okay to have feelings? Do you share your feelings with others when you have them?