[greyclouds]

I have found when I feel good that's when the thoughts come in.
I have had a lot of arguments lately and have managed not to become victim to the so called friend.
Okay last week it got a little out of hand I felt really empty and confused.
Things want great but they want awful.

Today has been good day. I feel great. My brain feels empty apart from that one thought.
My scars are getting worse and I don't want any more.
I know the next few days are going to be tiring.

I just want my good mood to stay

[greyclouds]

I can't take it any more frustrated but happy need to find the middle. Night all

[Sam2]

Originally Posted by greyclouds

I have found when I feel good that's when the thoughts come in.
I have had a lot of arguments lately and have managed not to become victim to the so called friend.
Okay last week it got a little out of hand I felt really empty and confused.
Things want great but they want awful.

Today has been good day. I feel great. My brain feels empty apart from that one thought.
My scars are getting worse and I don't want any more.
I know the next few days are going to be tiring.

I just want my good mood to stay

greyclouds,
is it possibe that you feel guilty about feeling good? I know that sometimes its hard to think straight when that SI feeling starts. when people tell you that you should just stop SI, they don't really understand how anyone could torture themselves on purpose. Its complicated and beyond most people's comprehension. If you can be honest with yourself and figure out why you need to SI, you will have won half the battle. Its not easy, but you can do it.

Before I was able to stop, I used to have dreams that I had quit, and woke up with the reality that I still had the same feelings. Sometimes, I'd have the opposite dream. In those, I'd dream that I'd blown it and started cutting again. The aftermath of those dreams would stay with me all day. Sometimes I would think that someone would find out and I'd wind up in the psych ward.

For me, it took making a promise to someone I cared for that I would never do it again. You probably have a trigger that will help you stop. Its a matter of finding out what it is. That isn't easy, but you can do it. It might take time and a lot of soul searching, even when its painful. You are a good person and don't deserve the punishment you are giving to yourself.

i've got another question for you. If someone told you they were guilty of a small thing, or, if you like, they had done whatever it is you did to make you feel this way. Would you sentence them to self abuse?

Sam2