[xXSkitty KittyXx]

It could never come soon enough, the one way I can see you again... you left so soon, though I know it's my fault.... after 3 years you think your in love, and then its gone in the blink of an eye.... I love you more than life, I know you felt the same way.... so, for now, I'm anxiously awaiting death....

This is for Dakota, my boyfriend I had for 3 years.... he died of suicide, because he thought I was going to commit suicide.... he loved me more than life.... I cant wait for the day we are reunited.... ive attempted suicide 4 times since that devistating day.... it seems death is laughing in my face.... I love you Dakota....

[Sam2]

Originally Posted by xXSkitty KittyXx

It could never come soon enough, the one way I can see you again... you left so soon, though I know it's my fault.... after 3 years you think your in love, and then its gone in the blink of an eye.... I love you more than life, I know you felt the same way.... so, for now, I'm anxiously awaiting death....

This is for Dakota, my boyfriend I had for 3 years.... he died of suicide, because he thought I was going to commit suicide.... he loved me more than life.... I cant wait for the day we are reunited.... ive attempted suicide 4 times since that devistating day.... it seems death is laughing in my face.... I love you Dakota....

Skitty Kitty,
I looked over some of your posts before I answered this because I'm fairly new and don't know too many people. You are far to young to let go. It sounds like you are an artist and I'll bet you are very sensitive not only to things that happen to you, but also things that happen to others.

I've been on the edge of the suicide cliff more times than I care to think about in the past four decades. At times, I felt as though no one cared whether I was there or not, and had friends that I felt had betrayed me.
If you take your life, you will leave a hole in someone else's heart. Did you and Dakota have a suicide pact? Did he leave a note?

By coming to this forum, you probably touched several people's lives. You may have changed the mind of someone about to hurt themselves. I know its hard to care what others need or want when you are in as much pain as you are. You are important though. As people, we will all die someday. Our time on earth is very limited in the scope of things. I'm not telling you don't grieve. You should. You lost someone you cared deeply for. That doesn't mean you can't love again.

I won't give you a lecture about not committing suicide. You have probably heard it before anyway. Things have a way of changing though. Your gifts are special and meant to be shared. Whether you know it or not, you are a good person, and though it may take time to realize, you will touch many other lives in the years to come. Take things day by day or second by second if you have to.

Sam2

I'm awfully sorry for your loss, but I really doubt that death would be reuniting.
There is no certainty when it comes to death, no one can tell you for sure that death would allow you to see your boyfriend again. What if you went trough with it and death was the end of life? There was no afterlife and no chance of ever seeing him again? That's an awfully big risk that I don't think you'd be willing to take.

You have your whole life ahead of you, I'm sure if your boyfriend were able to see you now he would urge you not to commit suicide as he would probably regret it himself. I understand that it's hard and you miss him, but killing yourself would make things a lot worse.

[xXSkitty KittyXx]

Yeah he left a note Sam..... he said "I love you more than life, ill see you in the afterlife...." he saw me write the note....I didn't have a chance to tell him I wasn't going to do it, I wasn't able to call him or see him for 2 days before it happened.... I hate myself for it..... I cant wait to be in his arms again....