T's ask to see?

I hadn't SI'd in almost a year, but have over the past week or so. When I told T she asked to see. Said that it's a well-known therapeutic technique so that the client has to "admit" to it, and stop hiding it.

Thoughts?

My t has asked to see my scars/wounds, but she said it was important so that she knows the severity of the situation and how to most effectively help me. She's the only one I've ever shown. She did make it optional, though, for me to show her. She said its important, also, that I have the option to not show her, because it may cause me to become more ashamed and self-conscious about it. I don't think a t should "force" anyone to show their SI wounds, but I've never heard that reasoning before. Showing her, however, did make it feel a lot more real.

I think it should be your decision whether or not to show your scars and wounds, and if it makes you uncomfortable, let your therapist know.

I hope this answers your question.

Nomad

I had a police officer from my school ask once and sometimes a T but I refuse to. I do so diplomatically but I wont. You have the right to say no.

My t asks sometimes, usually when my mood is super low (she can just tell...). I suppose because she's concerned about the severity and if I am going too far and heading toward suicide.

Well, I thought about this more and this may sound weird, but I actually want my t to ask to see my scars and wounds...I really don't even know why. I think it's because I need someone that I don't have to hide it from, and my t won't freak out about it like other people would. My t is awesome and I trust her a lot. And showing her my si makes me feel better, almost like she's the only one that knows, so she's kind of the only one who cares and I know I don't have to be ashamed about it with her, and it feels good.

Nomad

I like the idea of it not being hidden and making it more real.

I've been thinking about this more too ... and while the initial thought terrified me, I think I'll be okay with it now when she asks. In a way it's comforting that I can show her my worse and not feel rejected.

((((hugs to all)))

Good for you. I really hope it helps.

Nomad

When I told T that I started SIing again, he asked to see... I asked why, and he said just to see how bad it was, and to see if I need to see a dr or anything. I said no, and he was okay with that. Since then, I have worn a shirt or two that showed some of the scars, and marks.. but he hasn't mentioned seeing them since.

Yeah..I would definitely have mixed feelings about that. I don't think my T has ever asked me to see cuts or scars, but my separate psychiatrist has (the guy who prescribes my meds). I just had to show him some scars I have on my forearm. It was really awkward and shameful for me and I started tearing up right there in his office - it was our first visit after my other psychiatrist moved. I think it changes from person to person on whether that is helpful or harmful.

You're right. It helps if there is some level of trust established with that person for it to be less uncomfortable.

Also the reaction of the person is another thing to take into consideration. My t wasn't shocked because she'd never seen cuts so bad, but because she didn't realize I was cutting so much. I would think about how you think your t will respond OP, because that definitely affects whether or not the experience is pleasant. Most t's will not react badly and will show genuine concern like mine did, but I have also heard of t's that reacted badly, with shock and disgust, and made the "shame cycle" a lot worse for the patient and ended up encouraging the patient to cut more.

It's up to how well you know your t, too.

Just things to consider. I'm totally hogging the posts on this thread.

Nomad

hogging is encouraged

My T was talking about this just the other day and talked about SI being a secret act. People don't do it in front of other people; they don't ask people to watch them do it. Talking about it, taking the secretive nature of the act away can lessen that urge as our secrets have great power over our lives. In revelation, those secrets lose their power.

because of parents and having to be checked ive become very careful. i always wear layers of clothing even to bed in my single dorm room and i cut in places very hard to see like my hip or upper thighs... sometimes i slip and cut my shoulder but i think where you cut also depends on the akwardness of showing someone. i mean a strip down and showing scars is different from lifting up ones sleeve. im not saying the second isnt excruciating because i know it is... i just think there are also other factors....

Good point. I guess I didn't even think of that because I cut on my shoulders.

Yeah, thats very common. But I, at least, find it easier to dress and hide cuts and burns in other places. they dont make a lot of conservative teenage clothes....

Yes. I cut on my legs only, not my arms, because it is culturally ok to wear long pants in the summer, but for some reason if you are wearing long sleeves or heaven forbid sweaters in the summer, everyone seems to know. Long skirts in the summer also work. I have never been asked to show any of my T or pdoc's my scars or wounds, Thank goodness. I don't know if I could. I would be so ashamed and probably never go back.

Pretty much the same here... except its not acceptable but its not suspicious either. whats aweful is I cant swim. and mom wants me to work as a lifeguard.... sigh