[Silent_Tears_17]

I cut last night and it wasnt deeper than usual. It was actually really shallow I barely broke the skin at all but it was really scary when I saw the marks this morning because there were a lot more and a lot longer than I remember.

And obviously it had to be me. But if I didnt know better Id swear I hadnt cut so many times or so long. That was really scary. It was dark in my room when I cut but I should know... I dont remember doing it all. Im really scared.

[Sannah]

[Nomad17]

You didn't pass out, did you? I've passed out once while cutting, even though the cut didn't bleed much, and it took me a little while to piece together what exactly happened after I woke up. I think it was because of the pain, or the shock of the depth of the cut. Anyways, it was the scariest night/morning of my life, and I still don't even remember parts of it.

I really hope that's not what happened with you. Please be careful.



Nomad

[Silent_Tears_17]

Originally Posted by Nomad17

You didn't pass out, did you? I've passed out once while cutting, even though the cut didn't bleed much, and it took me a little while to piece together what exactly happened after I woke up. I think it was because of the pain, or the shock of the depth of the cut. Anyways, it was the scariest night/morning of my life, and I still don't even remember parts of it.

I really hope that's not what happened with you. Please be careful.



Nomad

No. I remember doing it and putting it away in my lock box and putting the box away... but i dont know why the blood on my pants was at my knee cap... i must have slid the pants up but i thought i put them back down... its really weird because i remember it so well and yet i know im remembering itwrong.... But thanks so much.

[jacq10]

((((((Silent)))))

It's not uncommon to have your mind drift off, especially when you're having intense feelings like that - it's a kind of coping mechanism. I remember (or don't remember!) when I had my worst SI, there was a period of a half hour where I totally lost. The only reason I know is because apparently I had called a friend, and it took her that long to come over.

Has this sort of thing happened to you before? Do you have a T?

(((((hugs))))))
Jacq

[Silent_Tears_17]

Originally Posted by jacq10

((((((Silent)))))

It's not uncommon to have your mind drift off, especially when you're having intense feelings like that - it's a kind of coping mechanism. I remember (or don't remember!) when I had my worst SI, there was a period of a half hour where I totally lost. The only reason I know is because apparently I had called a friend, and it took her that long to come over.

Has this sort of thing happened to you before? Do you have a T?

(((((hugs))))))
Jacq

I dont know if its ever happned with SI but it happens ffrequently with other things. The amount of times I put my phone down in my house and then cant find it is asronomical. I wont remember something right after it happens even when i participated in the conversation or Ill completely forget something and not know it happened or think it happened differently. Its kinda scary but you get used to it. And yeah, ave a T. Havnt seen her for while but i have one. thanks

[ickydog2006]

I will never forget the first time this happened to me. I remember cutting lines close together and they started to look like half a heart and the last thought I remembered was feeling like I just wanted to make the heart whole. The next thing I remember is snapping to and looking down, there was blood everywhere. I was so scared. I had never gone so far and I certainly had never lost time like that. I call it blacking out cause for me it ended up basically being like when an alcoholic does. I cleaned up the room real quick and got in the shower. I wanted to get it clean since I wasn't sure how long I had been at it and I was always very careful with keeping things sterile. I almost passed out from the pain when water hit it and I dropped to my knees. It was on my stomach and I spent a lot of time with hydrogen peroxide and makeshift bandages to keep it from bleeding through my clothes. I swore I would never go that far again. Of course I did (can you say addict), but the fear I felt in that moment sticks so vividly in my mind. It made me realize just how out of control I was, and was a very important stepping stone to me quitting. It's been around eight years since that, and if you look close you can still see the heart. A few years after the fact, I had forgot to pay attention and was undressing in the same room as my mom and was only partially turned around and she was like, "OMG you have a heart shaped bruise." At the OMG part I started to panic, and then it was like, oh she thinks it's a bruise. I just mumbled a yeah, but then she talked about it for days. I wished I could sink through the floor.

[sherlockholmes]

that has happened to me so many times but i wind up falling alseep after ive been crying so much... im here if you need to talk!

Originally Posted by Silent_Tears_17

I cut last night and it wasnt deeper than usual. It was actually really shallow I barely broke the skin at all but it was really scary when I saw the marks this morning because there were a lot more and a lot longer than I remember.

And obviously it had to be me. But if I didnt know better Id swear I hadnt cut so many times or so long. That was really scary. It was dark in my room when I cut but I should know... I dont remember doing it all. Im really scared.