[beadlady29]

so liek we s.i. today.............................have not doen thisw in logn tiem......thunked we was over this......aperetnly we not cuz we done it aging.......bad bad beads

[ThisWayOut]

Must have been a bumpy ride... (hugs)

[beadlady29]

always a bumpy ried in this huose!!!!!!

[Sannah]

Do you understand what pushed you to the point of needing to SI?

[AngelWolf3]

how are you today beads? Oh and you are not bad, in my opinion...

Originally Posted by Sannah

Do you understand what pushed you to the point of needing to SI?

Pin pointing triggers is important.

[beadlady29]

Dear Sannah,
Actully, no.........have no clue y we went back to doign this agin............mabe cuz we have not beened in therapy in liek over 2 months now....so have no one irl to talk to....................just dunno.............we do know beads sick of life sick of beiign broke sick of beign cold liveing in this stupid 40 yr old trailer that u cant heat in this stupid state of MI that we catn -rolly will never get uot of..............tired a beign yelled at..........etc.etc.etc.
tired of be not good enuf far no ...........sick of hearign u cuold a done thisr that gooder r u not chargeign enuf far ur beadwork etc....................r ur b ead room iws a mess r whatever......but does nyone help us with any of it??????????? F no.
mary sue

[beadlady29]

((((((((((((((((Angel Woolf)))))))))))))))
We not feeleign much gooder tody...................doign uor goodest just to hang in adn not do somethign else stupid ya know!!!we r trytign life is cn be so difficult and beads does not think it fair we has so many whammies against us..................sucks rotten stinky foo foo eggs................but we must just accept it all dn keep put one foot in front of other no we r supposed to be HAPPY about it.................yeah rite what a joke that is...................
sorry we so negative cant help it rite now so tired of all the pain both insied adn uotsied u cant imagien if the dadgum snow dont let up soon i swear..........................
mary sue

[Sannah]

Why haven't you been to therapy? Yes, winters can be hard, especially when you are cold. Your bf is just a complainer, I would try to take his opinion with a grain of salt.

I am sorry things are looking bleak from your perspective. I was born and raised in MI, so I know the dead, bleak winter can reek havoc on ones depression. Maybe you should try doing something constructive , like going to therapy?

[beadlady29]

beads is not in therapy no more because we aint got no therapist no moer.............we posted about this somewhere........and since beads is not good at writeing we will look it up and type in the name of the thread below this post if u really want to read it.................and yes we is tryign to find na new T but that is difficult to find one on our govt. insurance and also willing to work with DID pt. in rural MI.................
all of us frazzeld beadies

[beadlady29]

sorry.................cant post name of thread becuz the puter in its infinite wisdom has deleted it from beads sumbscripoin list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1like since when does it do THAT??!!
so wanyways hear we go.............our really great T that we seed far a couple a years mabe more dont remember ever since we has lived in teh trailer park anyways quit to go work at the local colege liek abround 6 month ago...............so we got assigned to a difrent T in same place where she was at................beads seed this T for liek 3 or 4 month but cuold not feel safe to confide in her..............she was brash, cold adn just plain not safe.............so we telled her how we feeled and she got pissed off would not see us no moer and try to maske thigns bette3rso adn wuold not help us find a new T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wicked witcdh iffen u ask beads!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! we was rite not to trust her that far sure................our caseworker is supposed to be findign beads new T she is shlower then molasses in winter..................beads tried adn could not find................got close once but as soon as we telled uor dx they said no...............................bummer adn not fair..................cant help what nd who we is.........................y does it matter what uor stupid dx is anyways.................dunno but apparently it matter alot...................

[beadlady29]

Dear Lola Cabana,
beads is so sorry we missed ur posts somehow.................please do forgive us..........
un r so rite about the Michigan weather it can be verrrrrrrrrry depressign and with qall this stupi9d snow it also sends our pain level thru the roof adn that dont help matters neither...............p.s. we love ur username!!!!!!
as wejust wrote we is tryign to get back into therapy............thank u so much for postign we really do apperceiate ur input......
sending u out peacefull thunkeds,
all of us beadies

[Sannah]

I hope your caseworker finds you a new T.

[beadlady29]

Hi Sannah,
I think beads might have found us our own new T on the psychology today link........................we talked to her and have uor first appt. set up far valentines day,,,,she takes uor medicare/medicaid insurance and she said it should be fine................so we called my caseworker to let her no adn she is tryign to tell beads that she has to be community mental health approved??!!
beads thunkeds she is feedign us a line of bull so that she can keep her nose in our business and keep money comeing into cmh...........we do not see a cmh pdoc anymoer (we r getting our psych meds from our home visiting doctor she is awesome she spends like an hour to two hours with beads once a month when she comes out versus 15 minutes with a cmhpdoc) and so if we dont see a cmh provided therapits we just wont need cmh no more..................thats all their is to it...............liek she really does us any good anywy she come out once a month talk far a few minute about garbage adn leave she dont help us with diddly squat...............cant we just tell her to take a flyign leap????
confused,
mary sue

[Sannah]

Maybe that pdoc who does home visits is CMH? Maybe call the new T back and tell her what your caseworker said?

[beadlady29]

the doctor who comes uot to see beads is not cmh....the nurse who comes to see us once a week is not cmh....the home health careworker is not cmh she come uot twice a week................y does the therapist have to be?? methinks my caseworker full of u know what!! our caseworker IS cmh and methinks that is y she is saying that..............she wants to keep her nose in beads business and keep makeing money far cmh....get it now?? but like the nurse what works with beads doctor and beads home visiting nurse both thinkwe cqn tell cmh to totally step outta the picture because they are not really providing beads with any services any moer. (other then a stupid nosey caseworker who does nuthign)

[Sannah]

Good luck on Thursday with your appt.!

[beadlady29]

thakn u sannah beads is very nervuos we will have to leave teh huose....grrrrrrr........we hope she as nice as she was on teh phone......................will post how it goes...............
mary