[Raging Quiet]

My therapist told me recently about the psychology behind self injury.

She said we feel like a victim and subconsciously are trying to hurt the abuser/bully by hurting ourselves.

I could see what she meant after she went into detail.

Her advice was; don't be a victim, don't let the abuser/bully win.

This is just one therapist opinion, a very high percentage of people who S/I were abused in some way.

[Sam2]

Originally Posted by Rect0pathic

My therapist told me recently about the psychology behind self injury.

She said we feel like a victim and subconsciously are trying to hurt the abuser/bully by hurting ourselves.

I could see what she meant after she went into detail.

Her advice was; don't be a victim, don't let the abuser/bully win.

This is just one therapist opinion, a very high percentage of people who S/I were abused in some way.

I would agree with that. Depression is anger turned inward. Perhaps SI is rage turned inward. All a matter of degree. You can self harm and not be arrested or break our own moral code of not attacking another human being. If given a knife or razor and told to use it on the person who we were so angry at, I seriously doubt many would or even could.

This is not to say that a large number of depressed or self injuring people were not abused, but I think there is also a percentage who were "abused" inadvertantly. For example, you get a B on a test, and your parents ask why you didn't get an A. They may be trying to urge you to reach what they believe is your true potential, but if it happens enough, the message that comes through is that you aren't good enough. You aren't living up to your parent's expectations and therefor are not worthy of their praise or love. Had the B been accepted with a "good job! All that hard work is paying off!", or even the good job followed by "Im proud of you! Lets see if we can get an Bt next time!", the message would be completely different.

Sam2