Hate my ****ing damn pathectic body ,my body go to damn hell

dear body of mine ****ing go to hell and don't come back I HATE YOU ****ING BODY ITS YOUR DAMN FAULT EVERYTHIN WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE A DAMN ****ING PIECE OF TRASH ,BODY YOUR PATHETIC why don't you just die off and let me be
id be better body if you left everyone would to they hate you body and also think your pathetic deserve to die

honey, what has happened recently to make you hate yourself like this? i KNOW you are sooooo beautiful and such a special person. have you told anyone about how you are feeling? i really hope you feel better soon...

hugs

Sam

i dont know emotionall breakdown
im talking to a crisis line online

Hey Butterfly, you sound like you might be decrepit like me. Hang in there.

goining to take ativan and prozac as prescribed to calm down

feel like my whole life is caving in and no where to go or no one to turn to but myself i feel like i deserve death ,im at my ends wits and feeling extremely extremely extremely depressed.

Do you have a T?

all she say is your the one in control and to call a crisis line but she leaves office at 8

no plan whats so ever

Im so sorry. I know the feeling. I know the thoughts swarming in your head. Please remember it is the depression speaking. Remember we are here for you. Remember how many people will be sad if something bad happened to you.

Are you talking to your T about these things that you have written here while you are in session?

sometimes yes

wish i was not born wish i could be in heaven but have to keep living my hell sighs

decrepit????/

im on a liquid diet fast for 10 days and if it works then another ten days and so fourth

gosh im freaking out im scared i ethier have strep or throat cancer or something serious i was going to sleep when i swallowed then it hurt so i tried again an it was sore and then i started to massage the area but pain sharp sharp stabbing pain radiated from from right side of throat to right side coller bone and hurting just in throart now as i write ugggghhhhhh

I think this is a good idea ,,,,

~~~~~Consult police (my healthcare coordinator will (she is trained as a therapist and i trust her more on this) on my mental health situation and and any concerns my team would have .

~~~~~Then see what the police say if they are willing to be as a consulant / on call should a mental health emergency arise ---such as me a min from drowning ,saying good bye to life etc... ex)

~~~~~~That way since they would be involved they are liable since they are there to protect and serve

~~~~~~Stress to my team and police that not to tramutize me by banging on my home door but to meet at a remote location

How are you doing FB?

slowly getting better

doing two boosts (nutritional high calorie drink ,and also started doing meditation and brainwave entertainment which ive had positive results from them .

And my therapist wants to taper me off of looking at pro suicide /pro self harm websites ,her worries are that if i keep looking at them that i would get more ideas and eventually do go through without thinking . someone close to her tried to commit suicide but failed, she would like me to contract the urges when i get them with three positive things such as im capable of not acting on theses urges tc

ive been emailing my local police department ,the police caption said that if i were to call 9-1-1 that an officer will be dispatched to where im at and see what could do to help me and provide me with any resources i shall need at that moment.