[NikkiV]

Hey everyone. I'm new hear, but I thought I would jump in, so to speak. I've had issues with SI for 4 years or so now, on and off. I've taken meds and gone to therapy. The meds made me angry and the therapy makes me self conscious.
Anyhoo, for some reason, I am just SO angry today. I've already done some 'superficial' cuts', just to see, you know? And, it hasn't helped yet. So, here I am, sitting here with my knife and 2 empty beer bottles and a half-empty one!
I know this is wrong, but I can't pinpoint where these feelings are coming from. The thing is, I work in the medical field. I know what I am doing is wrong, which perhaps makes me more 'careful' so to speak; cleaning my knife/arm with alcohol preps before hand. I just don't know where I am. I have no where to go, no one to talk to, no one who understands.
Nikki

[Rapunzel]

Hi Nikki,

Welcome to PC. I thought I would give you your own thread here so that people can respond to you freely. One of the unspoken rules here that isn't obvious at first is that if you want to talk about your own stuff, it is best to start a thread of your own. Let me know if you need help with that, ok?

Sorry to hear that you are not feeling too good right now. You can talk to us as you feel comfortable.

((((hugs)))))
Rap

[AngelwithOCD]

(((((Nikki))))))

Please put down the knife!! I understand what you are going through, I really do. It took a while for me to get my meds straight. I know that you said you have tried meds before, but maybe they were the wrong meds for you. Have you tried a few different meds? If not, it might be worth a shot to make another appointment and try again. You can also always come here for support, and you can PM me anytime you need someone to talk to.

Take Care,
Angel <font color="blue"> </font>

[NikkiV]

Thanks Rap. So much for blending in though, huh? LOL!
Angel: Thanks. I've honestly only have tried one kind of medication. Cymbalta. It made me feel really angry all the time. Plus, with the hot flashes and dry mouth, wasn't fun. I don't know about it though. When I talked to my DR about it, she didn't seem to 'belive' me. I would have been happy not going, but my friend kind of forced me in to doing it. So to speak. It is just that I haven't had these feeling in such a long time. 6 months or so long time. It just frusterating knowing that I can't figure out where these feelings are coming from. I hate giving in to this too. I did well last night though, sounds sick, but you can't even tell where I did it last night. Plus, I got out of my house for like 6 hours last night. That helped. I just get so angry with myself sometimes. GRR! LOL!
Nikki