[kimberley]

I have screwed everything up in my life I think I have lost my best friend who I confide in I don't know what I did he was the main thing in my life that has kept me from cutting now I have hurt him somehow I don't know how. No one trusts me to do anything I give up, I can't deal with this I want to cut more than ever I can't do anything right I need to cut to let it out. All day my friends and family have been calling me a ***** and I've had to take it with a smile I just can't do it anymore I don't know what I have done wrong geez I must be stupid to not even know that how horrible a person am I. Maybe I should fulfill everyones wishes and dissappear. I'm not doing anyone any good I'm just causing everyone pain that's all I ever do. Maybe a few little cuts where no one can see, it'll at least ease my need, hey all I care about is myself anyway right. that's what everyone thinks. Sorry for wasting your time.

[Zenobia]

You are not wasting our time. Cutting will relieve the pressure but will not fix anything. You have to get down to the problem of the matter. It will be hard but it is important for you to find out what you did to make everyone so angry. When you know you can do something to fix it. Since you have no idea what it is I have to wonder if you are misreading ques from people or if they are missreading ques from you. You are probably having a hard time but denying the feelings you are having...you know squashing them down inside which causes them to come back up in strange ways that others may interpret at *****iness. Talk to them. Tell them what is going on with you. Go to your best friend first and get things squared with him so you have some comfort to support you with everyone else. If you really don't have a clue what you did chances are you didn't do anything so bad that it can't be fix with a sincere talk and apology. I may be wrong because there isn't enough information but I do know that in the past I have freaked out about nothing because everything felt like the end of the world because I couldn't bear the thought of them not liking/loving me. But the truth is the world just doesn't end so easily and things are usually totally fixable. If they aren't the "great beings that are" have a tendency to send along the person we need most to help us through the unfixable. Then the world keeps on turning.
Carrie