[boo-bearRAWWR!!!]

Okay.... so to start if you didn't see my last post about not telling anyone about my cutting then you might be confuzled about this...
So I still haven't told anyone... and I think I went a little blade crazy today... my mum and I were having this huge crazy argument and I was SO stressed out (for other reasons as well) so I went to go 'take a shower'... yum.
It was bad....
like I did a lot... A LOT. And part of why I was so stressed out was because of this trip to some theme park tomorrow... lots of people = me freaking out. SO that won't be fun. Especially when everyone in my class thinks I cut (them not completely knowing that they're right) so they know what they're looking for.
It's going to be hot tomorrow.... and my thighs are butchered... my wrists are a no-no... everyone is always looking there... so I have no clue what to do.... does anyone know how to cover up scars or cuts really well?? This is causing me to freak out even more than I already am... plus the whole reason we're going is for this big competition where we had to build our own rollercoasters and now they're competing against each other.... I'm a very competitive person and if I don't win that'll pretty much ruin my day... sadly...
And being in a group with a bunch of people means a bunch of people watching for me to eat... which I can't handle at the moment.... I told them that it bothers me when the push it in my face so they've stopped that, but it's still like the elephant in the room.... as with the cutting.... and I'm just so stressed out right now... anyone have any tips?? Please??

Thanks for reading!! Stay strong!!! xoxo

<3
<3
<3

[redbandit]

It really sounds like you should see a doctor, hon. Keep us updated

[Moodswing]

You won't be able to top on your own because your brain is addicted to dealing with stress this way. You need professional support to help.

[ThisWayOut]

(Hugs) hope the competition went ok. Sorry you are having such a tough time with all of this. Safely, there is no way way to hide it except clothing. I grew up in south Florida and was known to wear long sleeve shirts and king pants even when it was 90 out (Can i tell you that sucked big-time! )
I did not yet read your other post, but maybe it would be helpful to tell someone? Do you have a clinician or doctor you trust to talk to about it? It sounds like they were receptive about the eating thing, but it also sounds like you are supplementing the eating thing with the cutting. If you don't deal with the root problem, you may just end up switching coping skills again when they work to stop the self-harm. Are you working with a therapist? (Hugs) hope you have a good weekend and can stay self-harm free. Of you are near one of their locations, the renfrew center is a great resource for eating issues and self harm... they got me through high school, and they have several locations.