[x_BabyG_x]

I can't believe it. I was so happy and content with my life a year or two a go and now im a mess again and back to my old borderline self.

I think im still in the phase where my 'inner borderline' is telling me that its fine and that I might as well do more now the damage has been done. I should feel worse than this and i think the guilt and shame is around the corner it just hasnt hit me yet.

I really need to forgive myself for this, or else im going to struggle dealing with it.

[kaliope]

babyg
I am so sorry that you are struggling right now. you don't have to let things get worse. everybody slips up and falls back into old patterns now and again. it doesn't mean you have to stay there. what were some of the skills you used when you were successful? start utilizing them again and you will soon be back on track. take care.

Relapses suck, but they happen. Nearly three years is a long time! I think my longest was 11 months.

Try not to beat yourself up over it. Instead congratulate yourself for doing so well for so long. You've done it before, you can do it again

[avlady]

Yes You can start over, let the slip up be the past and look to the future and the now to get you over the guilt

[Vexy1994]

Don't beat yourself up about it. I relapsed several months ago after 2 years I still haven't totally stopped but Im trying. You can do it!

[x_BabyG_x]

Im trying to forgive myself for it this time, as it was a few months coming. The thing is im trying to justify it now, i know that ill just end up slipping back in to that old SI pattern if i start convincing myself that its fine.

Im confused i think, part of me wants to do it again

[byfnvy]

hugs. You shouldn't let this relapse take anything away from those three years, you really made it through that and this doesn't suddenly erase everything. I've changed my perspective on this and even though I've relapsed twice in the past year, I don't see myself as going back to the way I was when I cut or having to start over.