[ThisWayOut]

I'm not sure what to do. One minute I feel like I really need to talk to someone, then when I get the chance, I chicken out and hang up/click out of the chat. I'm arguing with myself about the merits of self-harming right now... I list the pros and the cons. I land square in the middle most of the time. I know why I shouldn't do it. I know all the consequences and all the alternatives I should try, but at the moment, I don't care about them. I want to give myself permission to do a whole bunch of damage, but I can't seem to do that either. So I'm bouncing around on the internet and in my head trying to slow things down enough to be able to go to bed. The si urges scream as soon as I move from the couch, so I haven't moved yet... :/
I should have called T today. Oh well...

[Samanthagreene]

I'm so sorry this is happening to you right now, but please try to hold on a bit longer. It would probably be best if you talked to someone and I'm sure everyone here would be happy to support you. It might be hard, but don't give in.

[ThisWayOut]

Thanks. My stupid phone decided it no longer liked the forums when I tried to respond. I don't have access to the chats from my phone, so I just have this and try to sleep. The meds, sleep aid, and music finally did it. Today another rough day. The urges are so loud right now. Time to go back to the music.

[Samanthagreene]

If the music helps, continue listening. I hope things get better for you really soon.

[misswanderer]

I can relate to you since I'm not a talker when it comes to my personal issues (even to my family and friends). I stumbled to this site and also a newbie here but knowing this is an online forum eases me a little bit since no one here knows me personally. I hope you'll have the courage as much as I have now. Just try