Why!!!???

I don't understand. Im having the worse triggers. Even my old scars trigger me to want to make new pretty ones. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Why am I constantly thinking about cutting again, its not suppose to happen like this!

sorry you are struggling. I don;t have anything useful, but here if you want to talk. ((hugs))

Cutting is an addiction, and like any other addiction, it becomes the central part of your life. Old scars or wounds can be triggers. In my teens, if I had a "natural" laceration, i would try to make it worse.

There is no particular way anything is supposed to go. Life is unpredictable, and that carries some good and some bad with it. Each day is a new beginning, a chance to start over again and not cut. Don't waste your time dwelling on what damage you have already done. Thats past and what you really need to focus on is what is going on now. Even if its minute by minute. Its not an easy thing to stop.

If you haven't already, contact a therapist, preferably one that deals with self harm. You need to find another way of dealing with stress, anger, emotional pain and all that garbage. Think of what you would tell someone else if they were cutting. Pretend as if you weren't and think of what you would tell that person. Apply the compassion and encouragement you would give to another person to yourself.

Above all, a therapist can help you discover why you started cutting in the first place. You may already know, or you may not, but the important thing is to find out why so that you can either do something to help the amount of inner turmoil and come up with other ways of dealing with life until you are stronger. Once you win the battle, you will feel like you have really accomplished something.

Sam2