[shamon86]

So it's probably been about a month since I last SI'd. Tuesday morning before going into work I had such strong urges that I ended up doing it again. I was feeling particulary bad and had a breakdown afterwards when I got to work. The times that I have SI'd before are few and far between. This time was worse and I ended up cutting around the side of my wrist on each side. The last time it was in the same place and when I told my psychastrist he asked me if it was a suicide attempt. No the last time it wasn't and this time wasn't but I didn't care if it ended up that way. If I die I die If I don't then oh well. Just struggle through the next day.
It leaves a mark, but it's not noticable unless you were trying to find it. I know many people who SI do this at places where people can't see. But I don't know if I cut there because I want someone to notice it. I like to see it. I don't know why though. I don't care if anyone sees it I'll just tell them my cat scratched me. Does it mean that I want attention? I'm looking for people to notice it and I don't try to hide it. i just don't care. I haven't had any major urges since then, but my mood has been so up and down lately... who knows how I'll feel tomorrow or even an hour from now.

[avlady]

I hope you feel better soon, and please don't do it again, i care!!

[tealBumblebee]

I don't think you necessarily do it for attention. I had a strong urge to cut my wrist last week (never have) but I was just like...um...that'd be too difficult to hide (no cat, work at a ER so would def get some side-eye). I think it COULD be for attention (and I say this cautiously) if you found yourself checking it out when other people were around in particularly, or consciously placing it in sight when people were talking to you - or maybe you were simply challenging yourself, glad to know just how well you were at keeping it under the table even in plain site.

In either case - neither is a problem! I used to think I cut for attention, until I realized when I was around people, i'd hide the area (although sometimes I feel that too can draw attention) and be very aware when they were around - but on my own i'd secretly admire it. I'm coming to understand that sometimes we do need attention; not continuous hugs, praise and excessive approval - but it is nice to know we matter to somebody somewhere. It's okay!

I don't however think you cut there for attention possibly, because you cut due to the urges not because you wanted to have them there for others to see later. So my final answer would be no, but I can understand why it would raise questions for yourself.

[bronzeowl]

I am saying this with a lot of caution as I know for many people the very mention of the word "attention" brings up negative thoughts. Too many people associate that word with being selfish when referring to people who are depressed, self harm, or suffer from any similar disorder. Which isn't fair. It is human nature to want those you love or those you expect to care to notice when something is wrong. That does not mean you are selfish nor does it mean you're an "attention seeker" by the definition most people seem to associate with the phrase. I think that thinking wanting those close to you to notice is a "bad" thing is just a stigma. One we face too often. An unfair one that creates the stereotype of the spoiled emo kid (not that being emo is bad - just pointing out the stereotype I encounter so often when someone sees that I do it).

All that out of the way, still erring on the side of caution, I do believe that some of us do want those we love to notice. Some others (perhaps a smaller number) may want just anyone to notice. Whether this is a conscious desire or a subconscious desire, I'm not sure. I want to say that it would vary depending on the person. And there is nothing wrong with this. As someone who has self harmed since I was eleven, I know it is a hard habit to just quit on your own. I recognized something was wrong a long, long time ago. But I still have not been able to stop. So, yes, I want someone to notice. Not because I want all attention on me. Not because I think the world revolves around me. Push all those stereotypes aside. The real reason is simple:

I want help.

Am I saying this is your case? Not exactly. It may or may not be. I cannot know what your subconscious or conscious mind is doing. Nor can I know why. What I am saying is that if you DO want someone to notice, you should not have to feel bad about it. Let go of the stigma that surrounds self harm and forget about the stereotypes.