[lenjan]

I had to work Friday night and most of Saturday, so am sleeping in today. I was up early but then read the paper and went back to bed, whereupon I had this dream.

The thing that sticks out about it the most is that my sister was trying to explain my mom's behavior, telling me she was depressed, and cutting. I don't doubt my mom's depressed, but *I'm* the cutter, and *I'm* the one who's done years of therapy. My mom needs therapy worse than anyone I know, but she thinks they're all quacks and won't go. She goes to a GP who just throws meds at her to shut her up and leaves it at that.

Anyway, pretty soon most of the family was trying to defend my mom to me and trying to make me feel sorry for her. I told them that I refused to feel sorry for her and that she needed therapy and I wasn't going to have anything to do with her till she did that. That is exactly how I feel, but would never actually say so!

Unfortunately, dreaming of cutting, even of somebody indirectly telling me somebody else was doing it, made me wake up wanting to really bad. It also made me wake up angry, which I especially hate. It took me a long, long time to learn how to deal appropriately with anger, and sometimes I am still not so good at it.

Just venting, I guess -- thanks for listening

Candy

[Perna]

That is an interesting dream, Candy, thanks for sharing it. I've read that since it's our dream we're dreaming, we're all the characters in it.

If yours were my dream, I'd imagine my "sister" was a reflection of me and/or my "mother" is a combination of me (over here) and my sister (over there), a kind of synthesis; cutter and worthy of "defense" or protection against me and my insistance about therapy. It looks like I (as dreamer) feel about cutting (for me) as my mother feels about therapy.

I'd try to think of cutting the way you think of therapy for your mother's depression? Or give yourself the same break for cutting that you give yourself for depression? Play with the "pieces" that way; they're all your pieces? See what they have to say to you that gives you new insight/help.

I hope the ugly feelings go away soon though or can be replaced with good thoughts/ideas on how to approach your struggles.

[Rapunzel]

(((((((Candy))))))))

You know what I like about your dream? You expressed a lot of strong feelings. You expressed how you really feel, both in the dream and here when you told us about it. That's finding an appropriate outlet for your feelings and being aware of them. Good job!

How are you feeling now? I hope you were able to get past your anger and desires to cut. I do know what it's like to feel something so strongly in a dream and wake up and the feeling is still there, with all the intensity. The feelings are real, so it doesn't matter that you feel that way because of your dreams. They are still your feelings.

TC,
Rap