[Rio_]

I've been getting urges more and more recently, but I thought I had it under control...I was running my hands through my hair, kept telling myself to stop, but didn't...I didn't mean to actually pull one out, but I have. Over two months, and now I'm back to zero days. I can't believe it!

Why do I do this? Why?!

Hey Rio, don't be so hard on yourself. Just try to get back in the saddle... At least you learnt that you can last 2 months, which is a great achievement. And maybe try to 'distract' your hands when they tend to stray to your hair etc..

Although it is frustrating, don't give up. You can do it!

[Rio_]

Thanks, Always. I'm just so disappointed - I thought I'd be able to hold off until I had to start revising again, at least! But you're right...at least I know I can last two months, I haven't managed to last that long before.

[(JD)]

I agree two months is great! Now see if you can go 9 weeks. Each time you can, you are healing a bit more. Way to go!

[Rio_]

Thanks, Sky. I still can't get it out of my head that I screwed up. I mean, it was one hair, not that much of a big deal, right? But I'm still upset about it.

[(JD)]

Well, rio, this is a process you are learning. Yes, it was just one hair, and if that was all, then it really is ok. I think you might be more upset that you did this, not that it was one hair. The hair might have been ready to come out anyway They all do eventually.

Maybe some beating yourself up about this is a good thing...well... let's just say you can use it to your advantage. The next time you think about doing this, try and remember how upset you made yourself. That will add to the negative aspects, and help you NOT do this in the future perhaps.

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Oh, it's totally understandable to be disappointed. But see it as learning what not to do next time. Keep going, you are doing great. Now to beat those 2 months! Take care Rio...

[Rio_]

Thanks again. And that's worth a try!

It's kind of ironic that I was doing better before I started therapy.

[Rio_]

Thanks again, Always.

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope you are doing well at this time. As with any behavior,it is very hurtful to find that you have days, where you are not fully recovered as you thought, and you feel that you should be further ahead in recovery than you are, and it leads to depression and a sense of failure. You just had one bad experience, and you went a while without the behavior, and you just have to get back to your behavior techniques that helped you not to pull your hair out and get back into a recovery status. You know that you did well in the past, and you can do well agian if you want to, and stay with your decision that you want to help yourself, and take the time neded to do what is necessary to help yourself stay in recovery. The lightbulb is to remind you, that we all have bad days, it takes courage to admit a failure, and it takes courage to persevere, and take charge in life again, which you will do in time. I hope the best for you I am going to leave you my email address in case you wnat to email anytime, neohiodbsa@yahoo.com Take care Soidhonia.

[Rio_]

Thanks, Soidhonia. I've managed a couple of days without it - I'm going to try and keep going as long as I can.