[Catsarecool]

I only started a couple of weeks ago but now I want to do it all the time cause it kinda helps but I know it's wrong I should be happy nothing bad has happened in my life I have no right to be unhappy and feel like this but I do. Urges are to strong didn't yesterday but erik now

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Catsarecool

I only started a couple of weeks ago but now I want to do it all the time cause it kinda helps but I know it's wrong I should be happy nothing bad has happened in my life I have no right to be unhappy and feel like this but I do. Urges are to strong didn't yesterday but erik now

Sometimes we're unhappy from things completely unrelated to our life. Nothing bad has to happen for someone to become depressed. A lot of things are just related to chemical imbalances in the brain.

You have the right to feel the way you do, it's nothing to feel guilty about. Mental illness does not discriminate, it affects all kinds of people of all different walks of life and economic statuses. It happens to people who haven't had anything bad happen to them and to people who have had something bad happen in their life. It's a legitimate heath issue that a lot of people end up facing at some point in their lives.

As far as self harming goes, it's an extremely hard habit to break. It does feel good, momentarily until you have to keep re-doing it and re-doing it. Then you feel guilty about doing it in the first place. It's a very bad cycle.

Are you currently seeing a therapist? I recommend you seek out one, especially one that specializes in CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy).

[mazing]

I definitely agree with Blue_Bird and they have some great advice. You have the right to feel how you do, no matter what that is. Everyone has different backgrounds, experiences and emotional reactions and all should be acknowledged and respected.

And it can can help sometimes to look at self harm as a form of addiction. You may not start with the intention of continuing but it can take over. It becomes a coping mechanism when other ways of coping haven't worked, or no longer work. By self harming you release adrenaline and endorphins, which are basically the bodies 'happy drugs' and can help in times of stress. Unfortunately like most addictions in time though people find they need more and more to be able to cope and the self harm can get worse to achieve that.

If you are seeing a therapist that can be a great support. Also, with self-harm one of the best tools you have to manage is through distraction and finding other coping mechanisms. That could be through writing, drawing, listening to music, singing, running etc. Anything that you find enjoyable and relaxing. Exercise can be extremely helpful as it also releases endorphins into your system.

You may also want to look at the threads stickied in this forum as they give a lot of good information on self harm and distraction techniques. I will link them here as well:
Reasons not to
Things to do instead of hurting yourself
Self injury resources

And also, please feel free to ask questions and seek support here. There are some amazing people who I am sure will do all they can to help

[Catsarecool]

I don't see a therapist and my parents don't no they know I'm not happy but don't realise the extent of it. I have no idea of how to brouch the subject. I have lots of distractions during the day but at night when I can't sleep there nothing to distract me and the while day keeps playing through my head.

You sound like me when I first started. I was 14, never imagined at 23 I'd still be doing the same! And mazing is right, it gets worse because the effects aren't the same after a while and it takes more to get what you want out of it.

I never told my parents either, but I really wish I had. If I had got the help when it first started I don't think I would be such a mess now. My parents only found out last year after a suicide attempt. They have been very supportive so all those years I spent worrying that they just wouldn't get it were pointless.

Parents are there to support but they can't help unless they know the full extent of the problem. I tried to tell my mum I was sad when I was 14 and hoped that would be enough. I missed out the fact I was self harming and suicidal though so she just took me shopping and figured that would be enough.

I know how hard it is to tell people about it though. Perhaps you could right them a note explaining it all? Would that be easier for you?

[mazing]

I agree with silentwhisperer. You shouldn't need to go through this alone. Do you think your parents would be supportive? They can often be a great place to start. And if you can't talk to them writing is always an option. It allows you to think about how to word things and means you don't have to confront people directly. It also allows them time to process the information before you sit down to talk about it all.

If you do want to tell someone I suggest you also think about what you would want them to do once they know - do you want to see a therapist? do you want them to check in with you etc? A lot of people will want to help and be supportive but won't know enough about self harm to know what to do. You may have to be able to tell them what you want.

Having been there I know how hard it is but it is a step towards working through this. However, if you aren't ready that's ok too It's a hard thing to do and needs to be in your own time.

[mazing]

Also, if you were considering telling someone there is a fantastic article here that goes through a lot of the common questions and scenarios. While it is from a site about abuse the article itself is specific to self-injury, not just for abuse survivors:

Disclosing Self-Injury | Pandora's Project

[Catsarecool]

I have no idea if my patents would be surpportive they are great but a bit more get on with it type. I don't really think I'm ready to tell anyone yet I hate talking about feelings but thankx for all the help!

[mazing]

That's fine As I said, it is all at your own speed You should never be forced into dealing with things until you are ready.

Hope you are doing ok