My 13 year old girl is cutting.

What can I do to help her. She said her friend is having a hard time at another school and is cutting herself. I feel so ashamed because she knows that I cut. I havent done so in 4 months. She is so hostile towards me. I rang her friends mother and she was great about it. We talked together but when she left I got the wrath of my daughter and my husband is looking at me as If "see what you have done".

Pierro,
you are not responsible for your daughter cutting herself. She has a friend who cuts and probably knows of others that do as well. People are more open about things like that these days.

Actually, you could take advantage of the fact that both you and your daughter cut to make and appointment for both of you to go into a counsellor. That would be a safe place for both of you to work out any issues you may have with each other, and also why you cut. If you both feel you need seperate sessions as well, that may be a good idea.

Whether you know it or not, your own experience is giving you the tools to understand and help your daughter. You understand the pain inside that drives you to cut. Each of you could be support for the other. If she has started cutting recently, then its not as ingrained as if she had been doing it for years. Either way, its not impossible to stop. I was there for 4 decades and havent' done it for the past two years, nor do I have the urge.

They say its easier to diet if you are doing it with someone else. Perhaps the same goes true for stopping the cutting behavior. Just make sure that it doesn't become a contest, who can do the most damage. Please get in touch with someone who works with patients who cut. It doesn't take much to cause serious damage.

Sam2

I'm so sorry that this is happening, Pierro, yet I agree with Sam2 - don't blame yourself, it is NOT your fault. I've come to a point in my life, where I believe that everything happens for a reason, and I think that your experiences and SIing will help you understand your daughter more. Hold in there, okay? Things always get better, just hold on and don't give up.