[rothfan6]

Do you tell your T when you si? Mine knows I have in the past but I'm worried about telling him when it happens. I told him the other day that the urge to was strong and I know he's going to ask if I did, I just don't know how to answer.

[ScarletPimpernel]

When I first started seeing my T 3 months ago, she made me promise to stop SI'ing. I did. But Christmas week turned out to be a disaster (stressful, T canceled appointment, T forgot to call me, pdoc appt went bad, etc.) I thought I lost my T, so I SI'ed again. Then I come to find out I didn't lose her. I wrote her an e-mail saying that I was sorry that I broke my promise to her. She knew exactly what I meant. She wasn't mad. She said she still trusted me. She said that she knew she had to earn my trust back. She just asked me to start keeping the promise again.

My best advice: trust your gut with your T. How has he reacted to things you were scared to tell him before? Has he ever over-reacted? Has he not trusted you? For me, if I can't be 100% honest with my T, then staying with her is worthless to me.

[Victoria'smom]

Yes I do. She usually asks why. I get all sheepish but be as honest as you can that is the only way he can help.

[tealBumblebee]

Mine doesn't. Every few sessions, she'll ask "hows the self harm coming along?; When's the last time you cut?" I did voluntarily show her one time, and one time she asked to see old scars, but otherwise she doesn't unless I bring the topic up. I say, just go ahead and be honest about it.

[rothfan6]

He's been great with other stuff I've been scared to bring up. I'm just feeling really abandoned and like I screwed up telling him in the first place. I do sessions online (not the best way to do therapy I know but it's all I can do right now) and haven't heard back since I told him I wanted to si. Logically he's probably just busy or something but I can't help but feel like he bailed. He has lost what little trust I had in him at the moment

[sugahorse1]

I tell mine. It gives her an idea that there's something up

[Jordy]

I do DBT where I have to write my urges to self harm and whether I did or not. We discuss these diary cards every session, so except by lying I can't not tell.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[rothfan6]

My first impulse is to just lie and not tell but that won't really help me in the long run.

If he asks I tell, I never volunteer but I don't lie about it. Its the same with most things, he has to ask before I say....

[TheWell]

I tell every time. They used to ask, my group T and my individual T, now I volunteer the information.

[mazing]

It's up to you when you tell someone but I really would encourage you to discuss it when you are ready. As someone else said, it can give your T an idea of when you are struggling and help you start to work through it.

I'm sorry you are feeling abandoned by your T. I am really hoping that he has just been busy due to the holiday period. Do you have an email address or contact details? Maybe just send a quick email or call to alleviate your fears and let him know of your concerns that he has left?

[rothfan6]

I will probably tell him. He got back to me last night. He has been sick.

[nycgal448]

Mine knows and he tells me to stop and calls it sometimes manipulative behavior.
kinda critical about it; but pretty smart, I guess.xo

[rothfan6]

Originally Posted by nycgal448

Mine knows and he tells me to stop and calls it sometimes manipulative behavior.

kinda critical about it; but pretty smart, I guess.xo

Why does he call it manipulative?

[nycgal448]

Honestly, Idk.

[mortalache]

I feel worse/very guilty when I do self-injure and think not to tell him. As embarrassed as I feel, I usually get that information out in the open as soon as I can during the session. So far I haven't been met with very critical responses, but always questions as to what led me to it and what circumstances were going on.

[reesecups]

My outside T is completely understanding. Never degrades me. Usually understands why. Just considers it a poor coping skill. I go to a PHP, where it is taken quite differently sometimes. I have never showed my SI until I was hospitalized once and it was found. I'm supposed to admit self-harm, I notified them that from now on, I will admit if I felt like self-harm and the coping strategies I have used to avoid it. But as long as the threat of a hospital was looming over my head if I went to them because of an impulse they felt was not going to be controlled or decided that my SI was too much a suicidal gesture, then I would not tell them.

So in other words, I guess what I'm saying is make sure you have a therp who understands the SI instead of one who has old or ridiculous beliefs as to the cause.

[Rzay4]

I promised mine I wouldn't so I haven't

[reesecups]

Originally Posted by Rzay4

I promised mine I wouldn't so I haven't

Good for you! Wish I could do that. I have only slipped once since July, and you would have thought I'd done something terrible at group therapy. My T does not judge, just tries to help me figure out what caused it and help figure out a better way to deal with it in the future. There's no shame or accusations, just acceptance and help to figure out why I did it.