[inadequateJellyfish]

for the first time in my life im considering self harm but im scared and weak and cosardly as with everything. i keep a knife in my room out of safety and paranoia, in the eventof a burglary (have done this for years) but now i am thinking of using it to hurt myself im and scared. im weak, im not sure what to do... the thoughts scwre me, honestly, but i keep thinking of grabbing that knife and just making some cuts in my shoulder so no one will see

[puzzclar]

Honestly I wish I had never started. Now I am thinking of SH/SI for most of the day and not getting much done. Think of it this way, it becomes an addiction. Do you want that?? Do you want to see the scars?

There are other options, Drawing, distraction, movies, games, talking with others, doing something to get the emotions outside of you. Really anything that's not SH/SI

[Wren_]

is there someone you can call, or otherwise a crisis line, to let them know what is going on for you and help you get through this time without hurting yourself?

[mazing]

I can understand how you feel - I think a lot of us have been there. But puzzclar is right. Self-injury very quickly becomes addictive. What is just a 'one time' release turns into something that you need to do regularly to cope with the emotions. The addiction can be easily as strong as any others (drugs, alcohol etc). You begin craving it even stronger and it is hard to break.

Please try other things that can help you get those emotions out. Puzzclar gave some great examples And seeking professional help is always great too. They can help you come up with other strategies that don't involve harming yourself.