[emgreen]

I'm 52 years old, but when I was in my early 20's I engaged in SI. I can relate to the temporary psychic relief it provided, so I'm not clueless. I do, however, regret having done it all these years later. My problems were temporary, but scars are forever. I'm very self-conscious about the scars to this day. Just sayin'...

[Victoria'smom]

The thing is though at the time the problem doesn't feel temporary. Its overwhelming and immediate relief is needed. I don't feel any of us would do SI if we could find other solutions.

In a way I'm a bit concerned at what I would have done if SI-ing wasn't an option ya know? If it was important enough at the time to make it necessary, it was pretty serious for me.

Also, call me naive or lucky, the scars (not even just from SI) on my body are a record of what I've done. Whether it's the birthmarks I was born with, the scars from bad accidents, the stretch marks from puberty, the acne scars that I've picked at, the cut marks on my arms and legs, they all hold huge significance for me.

I'm "lucky" (more like careful) to hide my scars in places that are harder to see and if I ever show them to anyone and they're disgusted, I doubt I would want them in my life anyways. I'm not proud of them. But they are a part of me and my history. Sure I wish I had fabulous skin mark-free but I wouldn't be me without it.

[Frankbtl]

Hi emgreen, those scars can also represent how far you have come, and you should be really proud of yourself for having been away from SI for so long. It can be so hard to stop, but you did it!!
And as for regretting it, you probably felt that you had no other choices at the time which would provide the relief you needed, right? So maybe try not to judge yourself so harshly, you were a different person then, in different circumstances, maybe with less coping resources than you have now.
Sure you wouldn't do it now, but maybe have a little (more?) empathy with the person you were then, the person you were when you felt you needed to do it.
And it can be easy to look back on problems with hindsight and see them a lot less intensely than if you're actually living through them, right in the middle of them. At the time I'm sure they were incredibly real to you and...............
So it's all a credit to you that you moved past that period, and maybe see your scars as a reminder of the strength it must have taken to get to where you are today. So for each and every day, week, month, year you didn't cut each and every one was a big achievement!! They count, and your scars count to show you that.
Alison