[SheHulk07]

Do you ever lie to your T about self harming? I'm usually pretty truthful, but after I got released from the psych hospital, my T said if I cut on my incision he'd want me to go back in. So the past 3 weeks, I've been lying to him, and only saying that I've cut on my legs. I have cut on my legs, and have shown my doctor, so it's not totally a lie. But with my friend's wedding coming up in 2 weeks, I can't risk saying anything.

I just feel guilty because he thinks I'm making progress by not cutting on the incision.

[Abby]

I don't think lying to your therapist is helpful. I can understand your fear that you may have to go back to the hospital and miss your friend's wedding - that would be horrid! But, perhaps it may be more helpful to gain support and techniques and skills from your therapist rather than lying? You have something you want to stay out of hospital for, so that's a good incentive. It is understandable you don't yet have the skills to prevent yourself from self harming in serious ways - it is a lot to just stop when you're mind is set on it. I wouldn't feel guilty about not knowing how to prevent it. But, as hard as it is, I'm always of the opinion that if I want to accomplish the things I want to - like you going to a wedding - it is important to bring in extra support during those times so I can reach that goal. In addition, I find everyone tends to worry a heck of a lot less when I'm honest and open, then they can truly risk assess appropriately and this prevents what I may consider 'over-reactions' due to limited information. Doing this may allow you to feel as though you have taken some control back over your treatment plan rather than feeling the only way to do so is to hide it and consequently feel guilty about it.

Ultimately it's up to you how you utilise the support of your therapist. I'm sorry you are in so much pain that this is the only option you feel you have currently. It is hard to communicate how hard it is, and manage the fear that comes from doing so.

Unfortunately lying to our T doesn't help at all and probably makes us feel worse with guilt added in for lying too. Can you be honest with your T but tell him how important the wedding is to you and you want to go to that and do your best to stay out of hospital?

[Victoria'smom]

I have lied to passed therapists but not this one.

[tealBumblebee]

Can't say that I wouldn't do the same seeing as they would likely prioritize your life over a wedding. However, is it possible to come "completely clean" after the wedding? Because truth really is best.

I've never lied to T about my s.h. but I never have to go into detail telling her where, how, etc. She usually just ask if I gave in to my urges, my old spot (that she knows of), new spot (she hasn't been told exactly where) or other.

Add: Sometimes I don't mention that I s.h.'d at all but I don't think it's a lie as it isn't relevant to the conversation. It sounds like your T pretty much asks you about it though.

[jacq10]

((((Amy))))

I have lied before, yes... but it hasn't really helped me. I like Teal's suggestion of waiting until after the wedding and then telling your T? (how far off is the wedding?)

Unfortunately, as others have said, its not really beneficial to you in the long run to not be honest with your T. Your T thinking you're making progress is going to hinder you from actually making progress.

[SheHulk07]

That's my intention is to be completely honest after the wedding, and go from there. The wedding is in 2 weeks, and I'm her bridesmaids which is why it's so important to me.

[Espresso]

I would probably do the same thing. Whether that is ultimately the best choice, I can't say.

Do I lie about SH? Yes sometimes.... but mine is very different that your case.

Mine is because every time I SH I am "supposed" to fill out this stupid form (a "chain"). It is a waste of time - so sometimes I just do not admit that I cut on some days.