[Christina86]

please make it stop please make it stop I cant deal with this right now everything sets me off triggers I cant deal with this right now I dont want to deal with this right now.

I cant cut I want to but I cant because if I do then i've really screwed up and nobody understands and nobody is there for me and I need support but I cant ask for it because it would hurt too many people or they might be upset with me and all I want to do is make people happy and not have them leave me even though that is exactly what I want because I dont deserve anything good.

why wont these thoughts END?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, promise no cutting. Cant promise much else but I promise that. I also promised no drinking this week so that doesnt give me much to work with.

I wish I didnt stress myself out unconciously. I wish things wouldnt bother me set me off upset me and generally make me feel absolutely horrible.

I wish I could get the bad thoughts out of my head - everything bad people have said to me, inflicted on me, physically done to me ... I want it to all go away.

please just give me a break life, just a 10 minute breather before something else goes bad in my life or in my head...

Okay, i'm going to try to go to bed.

thanks for listening.

[lenjan]

(((((((((((((Christina))))))))) I'm sorry you're feeling so bad, sweetie. I don't have any good suggestions for making it stop, unfortunately. I'm here if you want to talk, though.

Love, Candy

[mssumom]

{{{{{{{{Christina}}}}}}}

Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hope today is a better day for you.

{{{{{{{{{{Christina}}}}}}}}

Lori

[Rio_]

There's nothing wrong with asking for support. We all need it sometimes.

(((((Canders))))) Sorry you're feeling so rough. Hope you feel better soon.

[Christina86]

Thanks everyone

((((((((((candy)))))))))))
((((((((((msusmom)))))))))
((((((((((Rio))))))))))))

I haven't done anything "stupid" yet - and am still not drinking (I promised I wouldn't *sigh*). That's good right?

IDK. I'm messed up at the moment. Thanks for the support.

please always ask us for support. we're here for you.........xoxoxo pat

[Christina86]

I know Pat. Just been conditionned to believe that asking for help is bad, talking about myself is bad ... I'm sorry.

Thanks (((((((((((((Pat))))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((Everyone))))))))))))))))) Wonderful bunch you are!

[ickydog2006]

(((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

You are doing a great job of hanging in there right now. Keep up the good work.

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((Christina)))))))))))))))) I hope you are feeling better today. I am sorry that things are so hard right now. Please take care.

[Christina86]

Thanks

((((((((((((ickydog)))))))))))))
(((((((((((bipolarbear)))))))))))))))

for all your support.

I'm having a good enough time at the moment, I was just out with people.

These thoughts are getting worse, and my T doesnt know ... I just dont know how to tell without bad stuff happening. I dont know how I told the first T about it, I dont know how to do it again... I don't. I'm so scared. He's only around until the end of April, is it really worth it now?!

Idk.

[Rapunzel]

(((((((((((Christina))))))))))))

My feeling is that it it is worth seeing him for therapy, it is worth being honest about how you are really doing, even (especially) when it is hard. If you don't tell, you are depriving yourself of help.

[Christina86]

Thanks ((((((((((((Rap))))))))))))))

I wound up telling him today, it's too much on my mind. Spent the entire hour talking about how I'm depressed and my negative thinking and about my history with self-injuring.

I just dont want anything bad to come out of this, I really don't. I just can't continue like this anymore.

[StargazerLily]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((canders)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

i just wanted to say, i know

i'm sorry

hope things are going better

[StargazerLily]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((canders)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

i just wanted to say, i know

i'm sorry

[Christina86]

(((((((((((Lily!))))))))))))))))

Thanks for the hug and the understanding, it does mean a lot.

canders remember what i said to you, you will never lose me has a friend, you have not come anyware close to me changing my mind on that, i hope things get better for you soon, pm me if you need or want to talk.

[Christina86]

Mellors,

Thank you very much for being such a good friend.