[Mortis]

Nobody cares. Prove me wrong. The only reason I'm here still is because of my infant daughter!

Read my other posts to understand more. Too tired to explain.

[kaliope]

mortis
while you may have many challenges before you and lots of baggage behind you you do have that beautiful daughter to live for. I have bipolar, I self medicated with alcohol. I got sober with AA. it was challenging at first but got easier. life was miserable because I was unmedicated. I finally had a breakdown in 2007. I didn't know I was bipolar. I had tried taking my life a number of times as well. I finally tried medication. it took a couple years to find the right meds. I had to be persistent with my pdocs to get the right ones without side effects but I finally found the ones that took care of all my symptoms. I wouldn't settle for so=so. now I live a very successful life. I often wonder how different life would have been if I had found meds as a teen. things may be devastating now, but only you have the power to change that. your anxiety will catastrophize anything that is going on. remember that. get lost in the love you have for your little girl. focus on that joy. feel good about what a good father you are and can be. use that to build your self esteem. you were a good husband. you didn't make the choice to end your marriage. she did. focus on the good and you will feel good raising your self concept. take care.

[strugglinggirl]

Hey Mortis I'm new here so don't know you but I'm sure your daughter wants you around. I agree with kaliope, maybe you just need to find the right therapist or medication. Life can be so different. As a teenager I never imagined being able to have a successful life with my mental illness bit it's happened. You can always PM me if you want to chat.

[Mortis]

At this point I am pretty comfortable with my medication. My mood swings aren't less frequent, but they are less intense. My mania is much rarer now. That last couple of times my meds were altered at all, a new med was introduced. The first one put me in the mental health ward because I started suffering from insomnia, hallucinations, and extreme paranoia. The last time I had a new med introduced, I became very irritable and had a meltdown two days in a row. I punched a wall clock, busted up a bookshelf, and screamed and cussed uncontrollably at my now estranged wife and mother-in-law. I'm terrified now of trying any other meds, but if my psychiatrist deems it necessary, I will agree to adjustments of my current meds.

[Fuzzybear]