[Mike_J]

I have not engaged in any SI in over 3 years but over the weekend when I went to look for my preferred implement for SI, I had another legitimate use for it, and I COULDN'T find it anywhere. I moved last year but I was sure I knew right where it was. Not like I'm expecting to use it for what I have in the past but I don't like not knowing what happened to it, and now that I know that I don't know where it is it kind of freaks me out. Makes me think about where it could be and when I'm thinking about it, what I usually use it for is right there too...

[TheWell]

((((Mike)))) it's amazing how much power our tools have.

[ThisWayOut]

Sorry. I can understand though. I'm trying not to freak out over moving my tools tonight, but it's bulging the hell out of me... sometimes it's just the security of knowing where it is, knowing you can find it again "in case"...

[NoChildSupport]

I almost had a panic attack when I couldn't find my tool. I was really scared that my mom would find it & would know what it was being used for. It's my favorite tool & I prefer not to use anything else. But I was desperate so I had to sneak to grab another one. I still can't find & I almost get ocd annoyed just thinking about it.

[celtic.starlite]

Originally Posted by Mike_J

I have not engaged in any SI in over 3 years but over the weekend when I went to look for my preferred implement for SI, I had another legitimate use for it, and I COULDN'T find it anywhere. I moved last year but I was sure I knew right where it was. Not like I'm expecting to use it for what I have in the past but I don't like not knowing what happened to it, and now that I know that I don't know where it is it kind of freaks me out. Makes me think about where it could be and when I'm thinking about it, what I usually use it for is right there too...

I actually find this interesting, that after three years of not engaging in SI your tool can still hold so much power and control over you. I know it is true, as I had quit for two years and my tool had a lot of power over me too at that time.
What if you found something else that makes you feel better and replace your tool with that? If you like to read, maybe you could grab your favorite book and just hold on to it, maybe run your fingers over the cover and through the pages, every time you think of your SI tool? Do you think something like this could help you? You could slowly start to replace that tool with something that is positive.
Just an idea to ponder.

Be safe,

Celtic

[Mike_J]

Originally Posted by celtic.starlite

I actually find this interesting, that after three years of not engaging in SI your tool can still hold so much power and control over you. I know it is true, as I had quit for two years and my tool had a lot of power over me too at that time.
What if you found something else that makes you feel better and replace your tool with that? If you like to read, maybe you could grab your favorite book and just hold on to it, maybe run your fingers over the cover and through the pages, every time you think of your SI tool? Do you think something like this could help you? You could slowly start to replace that tool with something that is positive.
Just an idea to ponder.

Be safe,

Celtic

I think I'm just going to have to come to terms with "it" being gone for good. In the long run it is likely a good thing that it's gone, and I'm VERY glad that I found out it wasn't where I thought it was when I was doing well, and not when I was in a dark place, could have caused a major freakout.