 |
| FAQ/Help |
| Calendar |
| Search |
|
#1
Aug 11, 2014, 02:43 PM
|
|||
|
|||
|
I will just get to the point. I have really bad social anxiety/approval addiction. When people like me, fine, I am thrilled with that. When I sense or observe that someone reacts to me negatively, it throws me into an extremely sad, frustrated, self-hating state. I feel overwhelmed with loneliness, not to mention failure. Anyway, I don't know when this started but I have been recently trying to voice my frustration in rather stupid acts such as drinking things I know are bad for me, like diet soda, and eating things that I believe are self-harmful, such as foods containing high sodium, and chemicals such as saccharine, nutra-sweet, aspartame, etc.
I highly doubt this will kill me. I don't really want that, I don't think. I do suspect they will hurt me, which, I think, is what I am striving for. I don't really know why I have this need to hurt myself when frustrated. I suspect it might be, like, a way to say "{expletive} you" to a world I perceive as cruel and hurtful.. Anyway, it scares me! I want to stop but when my self image (extremely fragile) gets injured, I always gravitate towards doing the same to myself. I don't think I'm suicidal but I don't want to accidentally kill myself - I don't think I have the guts for that. (just today, I had such social pain, and I ordered my lunch with extra soy sauce and ate it like that, just because I figured that would hurt me). Please help! Advice, reassurance, please!!! |
 Road_to_recovery, ThisWayOut
|
|
#2
Aug 12, 2014, 01:00 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
No advice. But I could have written this myself. ((Hugs))
__________________
And I miss the days of a life still permanent Mourn the years before I got carried away So now I'm staring at the interstate screaming at myself, Hey, I wanna get better! Bleachers - I Wanna Get Better |
|
#3
Aug 13, 2014, 08:24 AM
|
|||
|
|||
|
Thanks. This problem is really a pain in the arse. Happened again this morning, seems almost everyone I came across on my way to work either gave me angry looks, looks as if I were crazy, or was outright rude to me. I had had it so when I got to my office, I did the self-harmful eating/diet thing again. I really gotta stop this but I think I have approval addiction with OCD and it is driving me up the wall (as well as driving growing OCD behavior)...Thanks for your kind reply and thanks for listening...
|
|
#4
Aug 13, 2014, 10:10 AM
|
||||
|
||||
|
<3 do you see anyone for any of this? maybe it would be helpful to talk to a t about the roots of these feelings and behaviors? (hugs)
|
|
#5
Aug 13, 2014, 10:28 AM
|
||||
|
||||
__________________
|
| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
|
My Support Forums is the online community that was originally begun as the Psych Central Forums in 2001. It now runs as an independent self-help support group community for mental health, personality, and psychological issues and is overseen by a group of dedicated, caring volunteers from around the world.
Linear Mode
