This emotional pain and regret and guilt is killing me. I want a do over to correct all my mistakes but I can't. When the emotional pain is too great, I harm, usually by cutting. I find that it hurts far less then the memories I have flooding my head. Not many people can understand and of course, no one wants to see the proof of harm. Why, then do they say it hurts them(because they care about me)? I just don't understand that. It is what it is....I will suffer the consequences of my actions, no one else will. SO what does it matter to others? Why is it their business at all? The very first reaction I got when I was young and told my Nana what I had done was "What are you, stupid?" So if you don't want to know, I suggest you don't look.

[Road_to_recovery]

Oh, I could have written this myself. There are so many times I think in my head "why does anyone care? It's my body." And I agree, a lot of times the physical pain is easier to handle than the internal. I wish I could be more helpful. But I can definitely relate.